Day 10: Not a day for blogging

In a generally bad mood this evening. Today was bill day so I sat down and paid all the bills and found myself coming up near short. Bills are paid, but the loan deferment ends this month so I will owe a lot more next month, and I feel the pressure of money. And it angers me because I do not want to live paycheck to paycheck watching every cent. I want to enjoy my life and the money I earn and I honestly do not feel like I have ever done that. I feel like I have always worried ceaselessly about money. For example I want to give Meg a great birthday present cause her birthday is just around the corner, but now I don't even know what I'm going to do. Today I metaphorically broke open the piggy bank, and by metaphorically I mean I took the stopper out of the bottom of my actual piggy bank and started rolling quarters (cause my bank is a bastard and won't except unrolled loose change and I refuse to use coinstar when it takes a tidy 10%), all because I want to be able to feel less stressed about it all.

And this sucks, cause I thought I was good at finances. And this evening I contacted Capital One to try and refinance my car loan cause I figured I could save a few bucks there, and then received an email from them telling me my application was not able to be processed, and instead of telling me why they said they would send me a letter in the MAIL telling me why instead of stating it in the email that was telling me I was getting MAIL. WTF!?! Stabbing in the face!

So my day has not gone very well because of this mess.

Workout: Bicepts tricepts and shoulders done the same way as yesterday where I try to max them out instead of doing what I know I can do. I partially contribute this to my mood as too many muscles make me all testosteroni like some sort of gender oriented pasta.

Creativity: FAIL. Again I must state I am probably in a bad mood cause I spent all my time worrying about money rather than being creative. Writing this blog is the most creative thing I've done today. And its not like I had time to do anything else, I have been on the phone or scavenging online, or hell, even rolling quarters and haven't had a spare minute to just sit down and be me, or work myself towards my goals. And let me tell you I have never felt so financially trapped as I have today where even my job with what it pays can't keep me out of debt. I would love to save money somehow, perhaps sell my car, but I can't cause I owe more on it than I would get selling it, or getting a refinance on my loans, oh wait Capital One SUCKS. I am taking a half day tomorrow just to sit down and call EVERYONE to try and squeeze a few extra dollars out of the air. Car Loans, Insurance rates, Federal Loans. No wonder the world is in an economic downward spiral, everything and everyone out there is just out to ravage the hell out of you and take your money. It SUCKS. And annoyingly no one ever taught me to avoid half of this debt, hell, most people told me to accrue it cause it would be A - O - K! F-ers. Well, I will do my best and work with what I have, that is all I can do. And I will continue to work towards my goals, and keep making the money at the same time. I fear I will work off years from my lifespan as well as make myself go bald with all this mess about me. Le-sigh.

Sorry this blog was more full of angry fist shaking than actual amusement and learniness. I am growing to understand that I must work to schedule myself in a way where I can suffer the annoyances of life, while balancing getting my own personal goals met. It is a tough balance especially since you can't reach anyone after 5:00 most days. Blah

Stab in face.

PSP:
Men's Swimwear: Needless to say, you are a trooper if you wear THIS to the beach.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=r90CAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q=&f=false

Boobs Football: I find it amusing they also claim a "method of use".
http://www.google.com/patents?id=Kt6CAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q=&f=false