40: Another not Monday

You know there is a very distinct style to wearing a belt. Now I'm not going to normal route of fashion accessory on this one, but more the route of bathroom approach. Now consider: When one wears a belt one wishes to wear it so that they do not have overhang (gut) so choose to have it just tight enough to keep their pants up. However! I conjecture that it is far more intelligent to have it one notch TIGHTER than this. The rational for this is as follows. If you belt is just a little tight, it acts as an early warning system for when you need to go to the bathroom. If you suddenly get the urge you can then calmly get up and stroll to the restroom, and if needed, re-notch one loop out so that you can buy yourself an extra 15 minutes, such as if you are in the car. Additionally when you approach the bathroom and that primitive part of your brain is like "hey, we can go pee now" though lord knows why there is a primitive part of your brain that recognizes a toilet, perhaps there was a porcelain urn involved in our evolution way back, but when you brain throws up that "hey-o" flag and the urge is redoubled, you can, as earlier stated, de-notch and stroll confidently up to the urinal.

And yes, this had hitherto been the most interesting thing I have figured out today while at work.

I am not a fan of Mondays, or, nay, even make believe Mondays, aka Tuesday after a 3 day weekend. This weekend though was VERY busy, though I cannot say too relaxing. Friday i was put to work painting with whip and all. And yes for those of you wondering I was painting with a whip, it is very ineffective and slow but the brush strokes in the long run are very even. But I was inclined to paint most of Saturday which might have had an adverse effect on my weekend seeing as I was, literally, watching paint dry. But on to Sunday, I went hiking up Old Rag. And let me tell you this can be one female dog of a mountain if you haven't done it before. It is very fun, but there is a lot of bouldering and climbing on hands and feet to get to certain areas of the trail. It isn't like your usual hoidy toi hiking trails where it is basically paved the whole way and midgets are throwing flowers at you while you eat a McDonalds Hamburger with confidence because the trail is festooned with trash bins. No this trail has you at one point waiting in a line because the people ahead of you are confused about how to climb a rope up a steep slope through a rock crevice to get to the next cliff. This trail is not for the faint of heart of overt of weight. Now when I say overt of weight I say this because there was one section where I had trouble squeezing through cause it is about 3/4 of a foot wide. There are tricks, but some places are a squeeze, and not in that hugs from mom sort of way, but more in that what a fuzzy bear doesn't it need some lov...hold crap it won't let go of me, I can't breath... sort of way. But I do love this hike, I did it last year on my birthday with Meg and it was equally entertaining. There were some overzealous people on the trail this time which made it amusing cause they would sometimes find the super entertaining route that may, or may not, put your life into jeopardy. Keeps the ol' adrenalin runnin. So all in all, very entertaining, minus the massive amount of my legs not working the following day, which was not too bad as I was back to painting a bit. One has to wonder what state their life is in if they are excited about buying doors. Yes, I am excited, nay ecstatic about buying doors to replace the crap doors in my house. Perhaps it is because I hate, almost more than anything, having the cat bang on my bedroom door at 6 in the morning meowing his face off, and, because the door is crap, can sometimes manage to knock it open, come upstairs and, contrary to my wife who says he just wants to be near us cause he needs love, stands at the foot of the bed and meows his face off because contrary to what Meg says, I think he is just an Ass Hat who likes to wake me up. So, needless to say, new door, no cat, life, just that much better.

So many things to buy at Home Depot though. But, unlike Will Ferrel from Old School I actually enjoy going to Home Depot (as long as I am not buying paint) and playing around in the hinges section. I like hinges, not sure why. I am a fan of simple mechanics. But I was thinking about buying a couple computer monitors to create a work station at home so I could work more effectively, but monitors these days are retarded. Here is the evolution of monitors as I know them. Monitors used to be huge, clunky heavy things, then they got bigger, so they were like giant heavy boxes, then flat screens came out and everyone was happy, then they got a bit wider so that watching movies on them was great, and everyone was happy, then something went way the hell out of control and now the monitors you buy at the store are about 20 inches wide and 3 friggin inches high. I do NOT know what the CRAP went wrong. Looking at these monitors is like peering out of those small basement windows at the outside world yearning for freedom. They suck and are only good at looking at pictures of the fish you caught that was "this big" apparently.
Ridiculous.

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This has addiction written all over it (Nicotine Candy Cigarette)
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