Blog 41: Bored

I find it terrible how absolutly bored I am so very much of the time. And it is not like it is while I am at work where watching paint dry becomes suddenly the best option available, I'm bored at home when I want to be entertained. There is very little I like watching on TV so I burn through that quickly, and it appears that the writing for various shows like 30 rock and the Office are sliding again. I actually sat here and listened to a book on tape (yes, cause I am THAT cool) while the latest show of the Office was on cause it was just boring and painful to watch. And I started watching the new Season of Dexter and while I enjoy the show, the writing on it is also feeling weak. For example they said in the most recent episode that a guy is being charged with assault with a deadly weapon. And when describing the situation in more detail, he kicked another guy when he was on the ground. So let me see if I have this right. The deadly weapon... was his foot. Quality writing I think not. I think cinema in general suffers from internal bleeding, no visible difference on the outside but still slowly dying and getting WEAK. But then again I am putting these shows up against my new favorite past time. Watching the dog attack a tennis ball that is juuuust too big for her to pick up in her mouth. Hours of fun, I kid you not.

This past week has been busy, and draining though, it seems for everyone. I am super behind in work which I HATE. I am used to being uber far ahead, but have somehow recently just started to be slower. Not really sure why, but I did get a new temporary supervisor which is pretty sweet, so I'm no longer told that I can only take sick leave if a tree falls on me. Oh class is my boss. But other than that it has been a paint filled weekend again, and the guest room is finally painted but I decided to take on a new conquest, Doors. And as I found out, for some got forsaken reason every door in the house is, yes wait for it, designed to be 1/4 inch Smaller than the doors available on the market. So every door I buy CANNOT CLOSE. Freakin quality. But I am not stopped by this set of circumstances, NO and NAY but not the horse kind of nay, which is spelled ney I think, or neehh, ANYWAY, I will not be daunted but this task, so I promptly went out and bought a dremel (for those who don't know we will call it a "magic" drill capable of .... well, dremeling) and did "things" to the door to make it work. Granted my first attempt butchered the door, but I managed to turn it around. So now I have a real door, much like Pinnocio was a real boy, on my bedroom door so that the freakin CAT can't break in anymore, and ideally will not be able to be heard when he sits outside the bedroom door bleating his stinking head off. Something in general is weird with my pets. Maybe it is something in the water. My puppy pug is a freakin bully who will literally beat up on Great Danes and Mastifs. Granted these big dogs just roll with it but I think they have convinced my puppy that she can actually chase down a car and submit it to her will. Too much ego boost on this puppy.

Spent a lot of time around babies this week. It was like baby assault week, very wierd. Piece of advice, if someone ever asks you to hold thier baby, don't ask if they bounce. The answer is yes, but just a little, just a little. So no need to experiment. I felt like people kept trying to get me to hold babies too, like I was on some sort of Mayoral campaign, and the only thing I can say is babies are Heavy As Shit. This might be that unlike normal people who are 80% water babies are only 50% water and about 30% super dense Feces. But babies are cute in that "I'm glad you're holding them and they are not currently crying or pooping" sort of way. I have found that I actually have to leave stores when parents let thier babies just scream thier heads off. Baby ball gag (you'll see in today's patents) that's all I have to say.

I had a sad moment this weekend. I went to the dogfish bar and finally go to try one of thier brews known as Pangea. Now this beer is called such because it contains at least one ingredient from every Continent on the planet including water from the Antartic. Now I may have played this up in my head too much, but I was expecting something along the lines of taking a sip and then Unicorns start running around and angels come down and give me a massage while high fiving Jackie Chan who is there soley to grab a pint himself. Not so much. Had a taste and all I could thing was "It's a little hoppy with some Ginger" I HATE when I build stuff up in my head. Maybe that is why I almost try to be pessimistic cause it makes everything freaking awesome by comparison. "Pleasantly surprised" if you will. But some things are getting so bad even my pessimism isnt working. I turn on the radio now and am actually struck mute with how absolutly moronic the music is. I keep hearing this one song with the lyrics "Lets go all the way tonight". Really? Really that is the best lyrics you were able to come up with? I wish I could stab my radio in the face, but sadly, that would lower the value of my car. But even so I have been using Pandora to supplement my musical needs, but recently it has been locking up on me, as though it too knows that there is no good music out there and is just like "Well, sorry we can't help you there buddy. Try looking out the window or humming to yourself". Still not sure why that is the error that pops up, but I guess they are just trying to be thorough. But man, urge to stab went up pretty quick when I didn't have Pandora and it seemed every radio channel was playing either Miley Cirus or the Jonas Brothers. Huge Fail. Some people might say I should get Satelite radio, but my responce to that is the same as with Cable TV, "Joy, then I would have 100 channels of crap instead of just 3. And would also be poorer" Synacism level is very high tonight which is not being assisted by the absolute conviction by my dog that there is someone on my porch. She is like the worst creature to have around right after a horror movie cause she will go up to random doors in the house and just growl while staring at it. She would be a great gaurd dog if she didn't alwayse bark at things like, her own reflection, figments of her imagination, and air.

I'm blowing my load on this one a little bit, but someone sent me this list of funny patents so I thought I would pass it along. The baby in the ball gag is my personal favorite.
http://images.businessweek.com/ss/09/04/0408_ridiculous_patents/1.htm