Blog 39: I like to keep people on thier toes

I just took the most glorious shower. I was at the gym at work, and just finished a little light weight lifting and decided I needed a shower. Now let me set the scene for you. I am at the gym and go to get some water from a water fountain. It doesn't work, so I go to the next one. There is a lot of water pressure at this one though so I have no trouble filling up my water bottle. I head on past the girls locker room which is out of order. It is about this time that the wheels should have started turning but they did not. So I head on in, get undressed and head to the shower. I put my stuff in the stall mildly noticing that I am the only one in the showers except for someone who appears to be sleeping as they are curled up on the ground. Oh well. I hop in the shower and contrary to what I normally do where I turn the shower on at test the temperature, I just stood in front of the shower head and cranked on the flow. About five minutes later when I was able to fight my way back up the immense pressure wave and turn the water down I finally realized that my shower was one of two active water sources on the floor where all the water was pumping into, and that there was a shit ton of pressure there. It was a glorious shower to say the least. Like getting hosed off when you are taken to prison in Shawshank Redemption. Glorious.

I was little weirded out at work yesterday cause I thought I may have blacked out and killed my boss. I was sitting at my desk having just gotten back from a meeting with my boss and went to the bathroom to find my hands covered in blood. When I returned to my desk I had an email from my boss to everyone saying he was going to be "out for the rest of the day". Dun Dun Dun. But if anyone asks I'll just say it was a paper cut.

Its the end of out fiscal year here at work so everyone who puts off all their work to the last minute like they are still in college are all scrambling to catch up (me included) But it works out well, but I am near done which makes me happy, though tomorrow is supposed to have massive flooding so I wonder how many people are going to freak out and not come in to work HA!

Loving my new phone also. Now I have never had a phone that would be considered "up to date". I recall when I got a phone where I could assign a picture to a name so I knew who was calling. My house was signified by a cartoon cow. Not sure why. Perhaps home makes me think of steak. Hmm... well it does actually, though I doubt that was my motivation. My parents were HUGE into steak when I was growing up. Its like Milk for adults. Strong bones and all that jazz. But as I was saying. LOVE the phone. Hate paying Verizon more money so they can EAD (Eat a D*ck) but still loving the phone. Yes, Duck, for those wondering I meant Duck. Cause Ducks are delicious. But for example, I was stuck in traffic this morning and a few clicks later on my phone I was past it. That's right, I called in a hit man who took care of the problem ;) Well not really, but I could see where the traffic was a route around it like a champ. I can also listen to Pandora on it, though I think Pandora is rigged. Pandora has this thing where you can say you like and dislike something and it "learns" what you will like and starts suggesting appropriate music. But I think they might have a bit of bias or something cause I'll say I like a little Linkin Park and throw in some Em&m and they'll suggest Johnas Brothers. Or I'll state that I sure think System of a Down and Metallica is nifty, and I get.... Johnas Brothers. Little weird. Also should throw it out there, that I do not, in fact, like the Johnas Brothers. But other than that odd flaw, it is fun.

I am truly impressed also by the applications available for your phone where you basically run a program to do a task, but there are programs out there to do ANY task. There is an application called Google Goggles where you take a pic of something and it tells you what it is, identifying works of art, logos and will eventually be capable of telling you where you are by a picture and who that guy is you just snapped a pic of. Creepy in some ways. Or this other application called Google Sky that gives you a picture of the night sky in whatever direction you are pointing the phone and identifies stars helps you locate planets and so forth. Some people may not find that as cool as me but I think it frikkin rocks. But I think one of my favorites is called My Tracks which GPS maps your movement while it is on, so basically creates a drawn path, and measures speed rate, max, mins, and altitude. It's a friggin phone, how the CRAP does it do altitude. But it does! Swanky. Used that to get unlost in the forest the other day, as I do.

Go Time.

What every Restaurant Patron Really Needs:
See Figure 2
http://www.google.com/patents?id=atfSAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false

Blog 38: Well It Happened

Well it finally happened. Yep. It FINALLY HAPPENED. What you ask? Well let us consider those things that we all expect will one day happen but have not yet shall we? We all expect that one day a car will hit us crossing a road, we all expect that we will find a cockroach in our bed, we all expect that one day someone cutting out hair will accidentally take it down to the scalp. Well for me IT finally happened.

I got a paper cut on my tounge sealing an envelope.

I mean SERIOUSLY! I mean you think about it, but you also think "NO that can't happen. Somewhere someone brilliant designed the envelope to be paper cut free!" Incorrect! And that shit HURT. And to make matters worse it was for a property tax bill. So it hurts on the inside and on the outside (or perhaps inbetween seeing as it was my tounge)

Anywho. Let us summarize events of merriment.

Lots of fun things have happened recently one of the most notable things being my birthday. Woot! Freinds and I went to the Dogfish head Brewery and then back to our place for some games and good times. Enjoyment was had though I cannot recall all of it cause.. um... well lets just say I hit my head *wink*.

Went to the Wedding of my Brother in law and his girl. CONGRATS. That was quite the amusing wedding cause their crew is largely vegetarians and of a more eccentric nature than the people I usually see at work. Though the people I see at work are rather eccentric in their own unique way. The wedding was very cool though, lots of dancing, great food. Everyone wanted to stab the photographer which kinda scared me a bit cause she kept thinking a good picture was to stare into the sun through her viewfinder. We stayed at a beach house in MD and lots of relaxing was done.

Other than that the usual is going on. I usually find it easier to write a blog when I have something to rant about, so I shall begin a rant.

My dog.

My dog kicks ass. Honey Bun, named for her curly tail, is super cute and is chasing a laser around while I write this. Oddly enough I think she knows its a laser (she is a genius puppy) but she doesn't care and chases it for fun anyway. Like us watching movies. She had a bit of a scary run in a couple weeks ago when the vet gave her a vaccine without prepping her correctly and she passed out and had a bad allergic reaction and had to get some IV's stuck in her and benadril shots.


But she is back up and kicking now which is good. Meg apparently dound a contest trhough petsmart to dress her up and win money. There are few things in the world that are more horrible than dressing up a dog. Cute. But so sad at the same time. I think I shall dress her up as Cerberus the three headed dog of the underworld. We shall brainstorm and see though. Jacques on the other hand (our cat) got taken to the vet and told he has a failing liver. So they charged a billion dollars to tell me this and that the only thing I could do was pay MORE money for crazy stuff that MIGHT tell us a diagnosis that MIGHT be curable. FAIL. Pets are expensive, but only cause the vet rips you off. That and because they eat and poop a lot. The pets, not the vet. Though I'm sure the vet does too, but I felt it innapropriate to ask.

Yard is still out of control though I finally fixed the shed which had a tree fall on it. Still need to fix everything else though. The dog has figured out how to climb still higher on the couch, she now perches on the back and eats people's hair when they sit there. Very.... strange dog. Doing a little car hunting, thinking about getting rid of my car and picking up an SUV, as usual. Though I am debating a Nissan Exterra cause while I would love a jeep they tend to fall apart. Doin some kickball league again this year, which is very strange cause I am a fair bit older than most of the people who do that, ie. I have a masters degree. I found myself standing there yesterday thinking, "I think I'm the only one in this bar with a mortgage". Now THAT makes you feel like you are past your sell by date. But I have trouble remembering my age so that helps a bit ;) I find it odd that we keep giving the dog toys and treats that are bigger than her. Its amazing to see her dragging a bone bigger than herself around. Man, I feel like this blog rambles more than usual today.

And for those who may wonder, I honestly think like 90% of patents are seriously just people hiding condoms in weird ass places.


http://www.google.com/patents?id=GHSSAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false