Not sure why, but I'm not feeling it this Christmas. When I say not feeling it, I will give you a mental image.
Christmas. That feeling that you are going to go outside and see Christmas lights on every house, how in the distance you will hear someone ringing a bell next to a bucket for orphans money, and there will be a light breeze crisp with the promise of snow. Looking down the street you will catch the glimpse of a fully decorated Christmas tree sparkling in the front window of a house, and turning you will see another house where they have gone the traditional route of candles in the windows. You look back at your house, a little annoyed that you will have to put up your lights, but excited to show your abode off as well. You know there will be cookies and singing in your near future and seeing family and blah blah blah blah.
I'm gonna Grinch this Christmas.
I hate Christmas music. Hate it. Especially since music on the radio is going through a relapse of the late 90s so currently every song is a Christmas song remixed to have people half my age oom-boping or screeching some god awful remix that my dog could have improved on by barfing on it. So not only am I beset by audio pollution of the worst sort, everywhere I look are babies and kids. Now in general, they aren't that bad, but they are out in such number, with parents who can't control them, and they have to be hopped up on sugar or cappuccino or cocaine or SOMETHING cause they are running around SCREAMING jumping in front of my CAR like I'm some sort of hug machine and not a engine of DEATH flying through the parking lot. For some reason I thought it would be good to cut through the Toys R Us parking lot to get somewhere and spent a solid 20 minutes not hitting kids with my car. And let me tell you, after the first ten minutes not hitting them got REAL hard.
Now I recall Christmas in the past being more jovial, and I even liked shopping foolishly last minute. Now, I just want to stab everyone when I'm outside. People screeching at each other, Christmas shoppers everywhere driving like they are trying on the clothes while they are driving or SOMETHING. And everyone is more retarded then a banana. I was in J.Crew listening to 4 Asian ladies arguing about the price of nail polish and how it was priced wrong, and that they saw it for cheaper at a different mall, and that they should be given that price. A) You are retarded ladies. B) I'm pretty sure when the sales clerk pulls out the Big Book Of Prices (which they actually have and she Actually pulled out) then she knows what the hell she is talking about. and C) Why in the hell didn't you just buy the magical nail polish at the last mall you great big twit. And D) when you cut in line to yell at the cashier about your lack of sane rational and then try to check out in front of me you leave your back exposed to being stabbed by me. With a gun. Baeonnette style. The way I see it Shanking someone isn't worth it unless you incorporate a little history lesson into the mix.
But right now I write this hunkered down in a Starbucks, in the farthest back corner with another gentleman across from me who has also taken refuge from the madness while his wife also proceeds to try on every article of clothing in Anthropology at least twice. The popularity of that store amazes me, its like having glitter thrown in your eyes and then paying top dollar for it.
Fantastic, someone just brought their kids into Starbucks, big surprise. And I bet they are getting them an Espresso. Why, cause parents on Christmas suffer from a disease. That disease is being driven insane.
Another interesting part of my holiday season so far was going to see Cirque du Soleil the holiday special show. Now for anyone who has seen Cirque before, it is a magical experience with a rich plot, acrobatics, and a high quality experience for people of all ages. But as it turned out.... this was knock off Cirque. This was apparently a McDonald's production of Cirque du Soleil. Now this was in the Kennedy Center so I figured it would adhere to the Kennedy Center standard of performance....well... Let me set the stage, I had had a little too much to drink the night before, and was feeling much better by the time we went to the show. I sit down, the curtain opens and immediately a Chorus begins to sing. This was where my suspicions began. Now there were costumes and by costumes I mean there were mountains of glitter with some cloth attached to them. Now the show had some acrobatics in it, and some redeeming parts but in general it gave me the feeling I had managed get trapped inside the factory that makes the Dance Dance Revolution Machines. Many a performance involved either A) Insanely loud Christmas "style" music (again as though remixed by McDonald's or B) Music Copyrighted and stolen from the rejected tracks of the Dance Dance Revolution soundboard. So my hangover came back, and there was one crushing duet between two of the female leads that actually made me physically ill. I didn't think that was possible, but it is. When two terrible female singers sing a duet, in the same vocal range (sidenote: this means Soprano - Soprano, which is something you should never do, in a performance duet you want range, such as Soprano-Alto, so needless to say it was like singing in the shower, and the shower was a tin bathtub full of rabid wolverines). But as I said, there were redeeming qualities to it and I did enjoy myself quite a bit. There were entertaining acrobatics on bicycles, a crazy man standing on top of shifting stuff he stacked, and some very very peppy jump rope aerobics. But I think my favorite part was being there with family and joking and socializing with them, and in general being amused both by the show and by our responses to it. Good times.
Office Christmas Party. Yes. The joy of the work year where everyone gets together, drinks and is Merry. Mine. Fail. Our holiday party was at a local sport bar and so with much eagerness we left to go there for lunch. We metro to the station nearest the bar and here we hit our first snag. We had apparently reserved multiple commuter vans to shuttle people back and forth from the metro to the bar because it would otherwise have been a mile walk through the icy cold super strong windy day. Well for reasons that are still a mystery our higher ups decided that there was an absolutely crucial need for them to commandeer our vans. So you got it, we walked a mile in the super cold. Now when I say super cold, I mean this is something outside the normal realm of cold. Cold is one thing, wind is one thing, cold and windy is one thing, super cold however is where the wind is so bad it blows you into oncoming traffic where you are hit by a car and then SHATTER. THAT cold. A mile of it. Thanks high ups and your Van commandeering needs. Probably wanted to go joy riding or needed a shuttle to get them to Starbucks. But continuing, we get there, and find the following buffet food. 1) Chicken with mushroom sauce. 2) Noodles with mushroom sauce. 3) Potatoes 4) Mixed veggies (the lame frozen kind). And that was it. For our holiday party.... that was it. And here is the kicker, the potatoes weren't cooked, lord knows HOW someone can fail to even cook potatoes, but they did it, and I must say it was even worse for my one co-worker, cause he is allergic to mushrooms, so he was left with bread. Only bread. FAIL. And the last kicker I feel is that I had to eat at a pool table. It was like watching a 5 month old trying to eat. Arms way out, trying to grapple for me food cause you can't sit up against a pool table cause it doesn't have space underneath for your legs. So I sat eating, looking like a dysfunctional adult, and crunching on raw potatoes for the grand total price of, yes, 20$ a head. I should have just spent my holiday party in the can. 2 Hours round trip. Thanks office party for providing me with the quality I would have expected from my turtle catering a party.
So needless to say, I think I have not had a redeeming part to Christmas yet. I need something truly Christmas-esque, truly heart warming and full of joy to bring me into the holiday spirit, and it better happen soon or Lucy Loo Who, I'm gonna friggin burn your tree to the ground.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Blog 41: Bored
I find it terrible how absolutly bored I am so very much of the time. And it is not like it is while I am at work where watching paint dry becomes suddenly the best option available, I'm bored at home when I want to be entertained. There is very little I like watching on TV so I burn through that quickly, and it appears that the writing for various shows like 30 rock and the Office are sliding again. I actually sat here and listened to a book on tape (yes, cause I am THAT cool) while the latest show of the Office was on cause it was just boring and painful to watch. And I started watching the new Season of Dexter and while I enjoy the show, the writing on it is also feeling weak. For example they said in the most recent episode that a guy is being charged with assault with a deadly weapon. And when describing the situation in more detail, he kicked another guy when he was on the ground. So let me see if I have this right. The deadly weapon... was his foot. Quality writing I think not. I think cinema in general suffers from internal bleeding, no visible difference on the outside but still slowly dying and getting WEAK. But then again I am putting these shows up against my new favorite past time. Watching the dog attack a tennis ball that is juuuust too big for her to pick up in her mouth. Hours of fun, I kid you not.
This past week has been busy, and draining though, it seems for everyone. I am super behind in work which I HATE. I am used to being uber far ahead, but have somehow recently just started to be slower. Not really sure why, but I did get a new temporary supervisor which is pretty sweet, so I'm no longer told that I can only take sick leave if a tree falls on me. Oh class is my boss. But other than that it has been a paint filled weekend again, and the guest room is finally painted but I decided to take on a new conquest, Doors. And as I found out, for some got forsaken reason every door in the house is, yes wait for it, designed to be 1/4 inch Smaller than the doors available on the market. So every door I buy CANNOT CLOSE. Freakin quality. But I am not stopped by this set of circumstances, NO and NAY but not the horse kind of nay, which is spelled ney I think, or neehh, ANYWAY, I will not be daunted but this task, so I promptly went out and bought a dremel (for those who don't know we will call it a "magic" drill capable of .... well, dremeling) and did "things" to the door to make it work. Granted my first attempt butchered the door, but I managed to turn it around. So now I have a real door, much like Pinnocio was a real boy, on my bedroom door so that the freakin CAT can't break in anymore, and ideally will not be able to be heard when he sits outside the bedroom door bleating his stinking head off. Something in general is weird with my pets. Maybe it is something in the water. My puppy pug is a freakin bully who will literally beat up on Great Danes and Mastifs. Granted these big dogs just roll with it but I think they have convinced my puppy that she can actually chase down a car and submit it to her will. Too much ego boost on this puppy.
Spent a lot of time around babies this week. It was like baby assault week, very wierd. Piece of advice, if someone ever asks you to hold thier baby, don't ask if they bounce. The answer is yes, but just a little, just a little. So no need to experiment. I felt like people kept trying to get me to hold babies too, like I was on some sort of Mayoral campaign, and the only thing I can say is babies are Heavy As Shit. This might be that unlike normal people who are 80% water babies are only 50% water and about 30% super dense Feces. But babies are cute in that "I'm glad you're holding them and they are not currently crying or pooping" sort of way. I have found that I actually have to leave stores when parents let thier babies just scream thier heads off. Baby ball gag (you'll see in today's patents) that's all I have to say.
I had a sad moment this weekend. I went to the dogfish bar and finally go to try one of thier brews known as Pangea. Now this beer is called such because it contains at least one ingredient from every Continent on the planet including water from the Antartic. Now I may have played this up in my head too much, but I was expecting something along the lines of taking a sip and then Unicorns start running around and angels come down and give me a massage while high fiving Jackie Chan who is there soley to grab a pint himself. Not so much. Had a taste and all I could thing was "It's a little hoppy with some Ginger" I HATE when I build stuff up in my head. Maybe that is why I almost try to be pessimistic cause it makes everything freaking awesome by comparison. "Pleasantly surprised" if you will. But some things are getting so bad even my pessimism isnt working. I turn on the radio now and am actually struck mute with how absolutly moronic the music is. I keep hearing this one song with the lyrics "Lets go all the way tonight". Really? Really that is the best lyrics you were able to come up with? I wish I could stab my radio in the face, but sadly, that would lower the value of my car. But even so I have been using Pandora to supplement my musical needs, but recently it has been locking up on me, as though it too knows that there is no good music out there and is just like "Well, sorry we can't help you there buddy. Try looking out the window or humming to yourself". Still not sure why that is the error that pops up, but I guess they are just trying to be thorough. But man, urge to stab went up pretty quick when I didn't have Pandora and it seemed every radio channel was playing either Miley Cirus or the Jonas Brothers. Huge Fail. Some people might say I should get Satelite radio, but my responce to that is the same as with Cable TV, "Joy, then I would have 100 channels of crap instead of just 3. And would also be poorer" Synacism level is very high tonight which is not being assisted by the absolute conviction by my dog that there is someone on my porch. She is like the worst creature to have around right after a horror movie cause she will go up to random doors in the house and just growl while staring at it. She would be a great gaurd dog if she didn't alwayse bark at things like, her own reflection, figments of her imagination, and air.
I'm blowing my load on this one a little bit, but someone sent me this list of funny patents so I thought I would pass it along. The baby in the ball gag is my personal favorite.
http://images.businessweek.com/ss/09/04/0408_ridiculous_patents/1.htm
This past week has been busy, and draining though, it seems for everyone. I am super behind in work which I HATE. I am used to being uber far ahead, but have somehow recently just started to be slower. Not really sure why, but I did get a new temporary supervisor which is pretty sweet, so I'm no longer told that I can only take sick leave if a tree falls on me. Oh class is my boss. But other than that it has been a paint filled weekend again, and the guest room is finally painted but I decided to take on a new conquest, Doors. And as I found out, for some got forsaken reason every door in the house is, yes wait for it, designed to be 1/4 inch Smaller than the doors available on the market. So every door I buy CANNOT CLOSE. Freakin quality. But I am not stopped by this set of circumstances, NO and NAY but not the horse kind of nay, which is spelled ney I think, or neehh, ANYWAY, I will not be daunted but this task, so I promptly went out and bought a dremel (for those who don't know we will call it a "magic" drill capable of .... well, dremeling) and did "things" to the door to make it work. Granted my first attempt butchered the door, but I managed to turn it around. So now I have a real door, much like Pinnocio was a real boy, on my bedroom door so that the freakin CAT can't break in anymore, and ideally will not be able to be heard when he sits outside the bedroom door bleating his stinking head off. Something in general is weird with my pets. Maybe it is something in the water. My puppy pug is a freakin bully who will literally beat up on Great Danes and Mastifs. Granted these big dogs just roll with it but I think they have convinced my puppy that she can actually chase down a car and submit it to her will. Too much ego boost on this puppy.
Spent a lot of time around babies this week. It was like baby assault week, very wierd. Piece of advice, if someone ever asks you to hold thier baby, don't ask if they bounce. The answer is yes, but just a little, just a little. So no need to experiment. I felt like people kept trying to get me to hold babies too, like I was on some sort of Mayoral campaign, and the only thing I can say is babies are Heavy As Shit. This might be that unlike normal people who are 80% water babies are only 50% water and about 30% super dense Feces. But babies are cute in that "I'm glad you're holding them and they are not currently crying or pooping" sort of way. I have found that I actually have to leave stores when parents let thier babies just scream thier heads off. Baby ball gag (you'll see in today's patents) that's all I have to say.
I had a sad moment this weekend. I went to the dogfish bar and finally go to try one of thier brews known as Pangea. Now this beer is called such because it contains at least one ingredient from every Continent on the planet including water from the Antartic. Now I may have played this up in my head too much, but I was expecting something along the lines of taking a sip and then Unicorns start running around and angels come down and give me a massage while high fiving Jackie Chan who is there soley to grab a pint himself. Not so much. Had a taste and all I could thing was "It's a little hoppy with some Ginger" I HATE when I build stuff up in my head. Maybe that is why I almost try to be pessimistic cause it makes everything freaking awesome by comparison. "Pleasantly surprised" if you will. But some things are getting so bad even my pessimism isnt working. I turn on the radio now and am actually struck mute with how absolutly moronic the music is. I keep hearing this one song with the lyrics "Lets go all the way tonight". Really? Really that is the best lyrics you were able to come up with? I wish I could stab my radio in the face, but sadly, that would lower the value of my car. But even so I have been using Pandora to supplement my musical needs, but recently it has been locking up on me, as though it too knows that there is no good music out there and is just like "Well, sorry we can't help you there buddy. Try looking out the window or humming to yourself". Still not sure why that is the error that pops up, but I guess they are just trying to be thorough. But man, urge to stab went up pretty quick when I didn't have Pandora and it seemed every radio channel was playing either Miley Cirus or the Jonas Brothers. Huge Fail. Some people might say I should get Satelite radio, but my responce to that is the same as with Cable TV, "Joy, then I would have 100 channels of crap instead of just 3. And would also be poorer" Synacism level is very high tonight which is not being assisted by the absolute conviction by my dog that there is someone on my porch. She is like the worst creature to have around right after a horror movie cause she will go up to random doors in the house and just growl while staring at it. She would be a great gaurd dog if she didn't alwayse bark at things like, her own reflection, figments of her imagination, and air.
I'm blowing my load on this one a little bit, but someone sent me this list of funny patents so I thought I would pass it along. The baby in the ball gag is my personal favorite.
http://images.businessweek.com/ss/09/04/0408_ridiculous_patents/1.htm
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
40: Another not Monday
You know there is a very distinct style to wearing a belt. Now I'm not going to normal route of fashion accessory on this one, but more the route of bathroom approach. Now consider: When one wears a belt one wishes to wear it so that they do not have overhang (gut) so choose to have it just tight enough to keep their pants up. However! I conjecture that it is far more intelligent to have it one notch TIGHTER than this. The rational for this is as follows. If you belt is just a little tight, it acts as an early warning system for when you need to go to the bathroom. If you suddenly get the urge you can then calmly get up and stroll to the restroom, and if needed, re-notch one loop out so that you can buy yourself an extra 15 minutes, such as if you are in the car. Additionally when you approach the bathroom and that primitive part of your brain is like "hey, we can go pee now" though lord knows why there is a primitive part of your brain that recognizes a toilet, perhaps there was a porcelain urn involved in our evolution way back, but when you brain throws up that "hey-o" flag and the urge is redoubled, you can, as earlier stated, de-notch and stroll confidently up to the urinal.
And yes, this had hitherto been the most interesting thing I have figured out today while at work.
I am not a fan of Mondays, or, nay, even make believe Mondays, aka Tuesday after a 3 day weekend. This weekend though was VERY busy, though I cannot say too relaxing. Friday i was put to work painting with whip and all. And yes for those of you wondering I was painting with a whip, it is very ineffective and slow but the brush strokes in the long run are very even. But I was inclined to paint most of Saturday which might have had an adverse effect on my weekend seeing as I was, literally, watching paint dry. But on to Sunday, I went hiking up Old Rag. And let me tell you this can be one female dog of a mountain if you haven't done it before. It is very fun, but there is a lot of bouldering and climbing on hands and feet to get to certain areas of the trail. It isn't like your usual hoidy toi hiking trails where it is basically paved the whole way and midgets are throwing flowers at you while you eat a McDonalds Hamburger with confidence because the trail is festooned with trash bins. No this trail has you at one point waiting in a line because the people ahead of you are confused about how to climb a rope up a steep slope through a rock crevice to get to the next cliff. This trail is not for the faint of heart of overt of weight. Now when I say overt of weight I say this because there was one section where I had trouble squeezing through cause it is about 3/4 of a foot wide. There are tricks, but some places are a squeeze, and not in that hugs from mom sort of way, but more in that what a fuzzy bear doesn't it need some lov...hold crap it won't let go of me, I can't breath... sort of way. But I do love this hike, I did it last year on my birthday with Meg and it was equally entertaining. There were some overzealous people on the trail this time which made it amusing cause they would sometimes find the super entertaining route that may, or may not, put your life into jeopardy. Keeps the ol' adrenalin runnin. So all in all, very entertaining, minus the massive amount of my legs not working the following day, which was not too bad as I was back to painting a bit. One has to wonder what state their life is in if they are excited about buying doors. Yes, I am excited, nay ecstatic about buying doors to replace the crap doors in my house. Perhaps it is because I hate, almost more than anything, having the cat bang on my bedroom door at 6 in the morning meowing his face off, and, because the door is crap, can sometimes manage to knock it open, come upstairs and, contrary to my wife who says he just wants to be near us cause he needs love, stands at the foot of the bed and meows his face off because contrary to what Meg says, I think he is just an Ass Hat who likes to wake me up. So, needless to say, new door, no cat, life, just that much better.
So many things to buy at Home Depot though. But, unlike Will Ferrel from Old School I actually enjoy going to Home Depot (as long as I am not buying paint) and playing around in the hinges section. I like hinges, not sure why. I am a fan of simple mechanics. But I was thinking about buying a couple computer monitors to create a work station at home so I could work more effectively, but monitors these days are retarded. Here is the evolution of monitors as I know them. Monitors used to be huge, clunky heavy things, then they got bigger, so they were like giant heavy boxes, then flat screens came out and everyone was happy, then they got a bit wider so that watching movies on them was great, and everyone was happy, then something went way the hell out of control and now the monitors you buy at the store are about 20 inches wide and 3 friggin inches high. I do NOT know what the CRAP went wrong. Looking at these monitors is like peering out of those small basement windows at the outside world yearning for freedom. They suck and are only good at looking at pictures of the fish you caught that was "this big" apparently.
Ridiculous.
6082368
This has addiction written all over it (Nicotine Candy Cigarette)
http://www.google.com/patents?id=9zADAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
And yes, this had hitherto been the most interesting thing I have figured out today while at work.
I am not a fan of Mondays, or, nay, even make believe Mondays, aka Tuesday after a 3 day weekend. This weekend though was VERY busy, though I cannot say too relaxing. Friday i was put to work painting with whip and all. And yes for those of you wondering I was painting with a whip, it is very ineffective and slow but the brush strokes in the long run are very even. But I was inclined to paint most of Saturday which might have had an adverse effect on my weekend seeing as I was, literally, watching paint dry. But on to Sunday, I went hiking up Old Rag. And let me tell you this can be one female dog of a mountain if you haven't done it before. It is very fun, but there is a lot of bouldering and climbing on hands and feet to get to certain areas of the trail. It isn't like your usual hoidy toi hiking trails where it is basically paved the whole way and midgets are throwing flowers at you while you eat a McDonalds Hamburger with confidence because the trail is festooned with trash bins. No this trail has you at one point waiting in a line because the people ahead of you are confused about how to climb a rope up a steep slope through a rock crevice to get to the next cliff. This trail is not for the faint of heart of overt of weight. Now when I say overt of weight I say this because there was one section where I had trouble squeezing through cause it is about 3/4 of a foot wide. There are tricks, but some places are a squeeze, and not in that hugs from mom sort of way, but more in that what a fuzzy bear doesn't it need some lov...hold crap it won't let go of me, I can't breath... sort of way. But I do love this hike, I did it last year on my birthday with Meg and it was equally entertaining. There were some overzealous people on the trail this time which made it amusing cause they would sometimes find the super entertaining route that may, or may not, put your life into jeopardy. Keeps the ol' adrenalin runnin. So all in all, very entertaining, minus the massive amount of my legs not working the following day, which was not too bad as I was back to painting a bit. One has to wonder what state their life is in if they are excited about buying doors. Yes, I am excited, nay ecstatic about buying doors to replace the crap doors in my house. Perhaps it is because I hate, almost more than anything, having the cat bang on my bedroom door at 6 in the morning meowing his face off, and, because the door is crap, can sometimes manage to knock it open, come upstairs and, contrary to my wife who says he just wants to be near us cause he needs love, stands at the foot of the bed and meows his face off because contrary to what Meg says, I think he is just an Ass Hat who likes to wake me up. So, needless to say, new door, no cat, life, just that much better.
So many things to buy at Home Depot though. But, unlike Will Ferrel from Old School I actually enjoy going to Home Depot (as long as I am not buying paint) and playing around in the hinges section. I like hinges, not sure why. I am a fan of simple mechanics. But I was thinking about buying a couple computer monitors to create a work station at home so I could work more effectively, but monitors these days are retarded. Here is the evolution of monitors as I know them. Monitors used to be huge, clunky heavy things, then they got bigger, so they were like giant heavy boxes, then flat screens came out and everyone was happy, then they got a bit wider so that watching movies on them was great, and everyone was happy, then something went way the hell out of control and now the monitors you buy at the store are about 20 inches wide and 3 friggin inches high. I do NOT know what the CRAP went wrong. Looking at these monitors is like peering out of those small basement windows at the outside world yearning for freedom. They suck and are only good at looking at pictures of the fish you caught that was "this big" apparently.
Ridiculous.
6082368
This has addiction written all over it (Nicotine Candy Cigarette)
http://www.google.com/patents?id=9zADAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Blog 39: I like to keep people on thier toes
I just took the most glorious shower. I was at the gym at work, and just finished a little light weight lifting and decided I needed a shower. Now let me set the scene for you. I am at the gym and go to get some water from a water fountain. It doesn't work, so I go to the next one. There is a lot of water pressure at this one though so I have no trouble filling up my water bottle. I head on past the girls locker room which is out of order. It is about this time that the wheels should have started turning but they did not. So I head on in, get undressed and head to the shower. I put my stuff in the stall mildly noticing that I am the only one in the showers except for someone who appears to be sleeping as they are curled up on the ground. Oh well. I hop in the shower and contrary to what I normally do where I turn the shower on at test the temperature, I just stood in front of the shower head and cranked on the flow. About five minutes later when I was able to fight my way back up the immense pressure wave and turn the water down I finally realized that my shower was one of two active water sources on the floor where all the water was pumping into, and that there was a shit ton of pressure there. It was a glorious shower to say the least. Like getting hosed off when you are taken to prison in Shawshank Redemption. Glorious.
I was little weirded out at work yesterday cause I thought I may have blacked out and killed my boss. I was sitting at my desk having just gotten back from a meeting with my boss and went to the bathroom to find my hands covered in blood. When I returned to my desk I had an email from my boss to everyone saying he was going to be "out for the rest of the day". Dun Dun Dun. But if anyone asks I'll just say it was a paper cut.
Its the end of out fiscal year here at work so everyone who puts off all their work to the last minute like they are still in college are all scrambling to catch up (me included) But it works out well, but I am near done which makes me happy, though tomorrow is supposed to have massive flooding so I wonder how many people are going to freak out and not come in to work HA!
Loving my new phone also. Now I have never had a phone that would be considered "up to date". I recall when I got a phone where I could assign a picture to a name so I knew who was calling. My house was signified by a cartoon cow. Not sure why. Perhaps home makes me think of steak. Hmm... well it does actually, though I doubt that was my motivation. My parents were HUGE into steak when I was growing up. Its like Milk for adults. Strong bones and all that jazz. But as I was saying. LOVE the phone. Hate paying Verizon more money so they can EAD (Eat a D*ck) but still loving the phone. Yes, Duck, for those wondering I meant Duck. Cause Ducks are delicious. But for example, I was stuck in traffic this morning and a few clicks later on my phone I was past it. That's right, I called in a hit man who took care of the problem ;) Well not really, but I could see where the traffic was a route around it like a champ. I can also listen to Pandora on it, though I think Pandora is rigged. Pandora has this thing where you can say you like and dislike something and it "learns" what you will like and starts suggesting appropriate music. But I think they might have a bit of bias or something cause I'll say I like a little Linkin Park and throw in some Em&m and they'll suggest Johnas Brothers. Or I'll state that I sure think System of a Down and Metallica is nifty, and I get.... Johnas Brothers. Little weird. Also should throw it out there, that I do not, in fact, like the Johnas Brothers. But other than that odd flaw, it is fun.
I am truly impressed also by the applications available for your phone where you basically run a program to do a task, but there are programs out there to do ANY task. There is an application called Google Goggles where you take a pic of something and it tells you what it is, identifying works of art, logos and will eventually be capable of telling you where you are by a picture and who that guy is you just snapped a pic of. Creepy in some ways. Or this other application called Google Sky that gives you a picture of the night sky in whatever direction you are pointing the phone and identifies stars helps you locate planets and so forth. Some people may not find that as cool as me but I think it frikkin rocks. But I think one of my favorites is called My Tracks which GPS maps your movement while it is on, so basically creates a drawn path, and measures speed rate, max, mins, and altitude. It's a friggin phone, how the CRAP does it do altitude. But it does! Swanky. Used that to get unlost in the forest the other day, as I do.
Go Time.
What every Restaurant Patron Really Needs:
See Figure 2
http://www.google.com/patents?id=atfSAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
I was little weirded out at work yesterday cause I thought I may have blacked out and killed my boss. I was sitting at my desk having just gotten back from a meeting with my boss and went to the bathroom to find my hands covered in blood. When I returned to my desk I had an email from my boss to everyone saying he was going to be "out for the rest of the day". Dun Dun Dun. But if anyone asks I'll just say it was a paper cut.
Its the end of out fiscal year here at work so everyone who puts off all their work to the last minute like they are still in college are all scrambling to catch up (me included) But it works out well, but I am near done which makes me happy, though tomorrow is supposed to have massive flooding so I wonder how many people are going to freak out and not come in to work HA!
Loving my new phone also. Now I have never had a phone that would be considered "up to date". I recall when I got a phone where I could assign a picture to a name so I knew who was calling. My house was signified by a cartoon cow. Not sure why. Perhaps home makes me think of steak. Hmm... well it does actually, though I doubt that was my motivation. My parents were HUGE into steak when I was growing up. Its like Milk for adults. Strong bones and all that jazz. But as I was saying. LOVE the phone. Hate paying Verizon more money so they can EAD (Eat a D*ck) but still loving the phone. Yes, Duck, for those wondering I meant Duck. Cause Ducks are delicious. But for example, I was stuck in traffic this morning and a few clicks later on my phone I was past it. That's right, I called in a hit man who took care of the problem ;) Well not really, but I could see where the traffic was a route around it like a champ. I can also listen to Pandora on it, though I think Pandora is rigged. Pandora has this thing where you can say you like and dislike something and it "learns" what you will like and starts suggesting appropriate music. But I think they might have a bit of bias or something cause I'll say I like a little Linkin Park and throw in some Em&m and they'll suggest Johnas Brothers. Or I'll state that I sure think System of a Down and Metallica is nifty, and I get.... Johnas Brothers. Little weird. Also should throw it out there, that I do not, in fact, like the Johnas Brothers. But other than that odd flaw, it is fun.
I am truly impressed also by the applications available for your phone where you basically run a program to do a task, but there are programs out there to do ANY task. There is an application called Google Goggles where you take a pic of something and it tells you what it is, identifying works of art, logos and will eventually be capable of telling you where you are by a picture and who that guy is you just snapped a pic of. Creepy in some ways. Or this other application called Google Sky that gives you a picture of the night sky in whatever direction you are pointing the phone and identifies stars helps you locate planets and so forth. Some people may not find that as cool as me but I think it frikkin rocks. But I think one of my favorites is called My Tracks which GPS maps your movement while it is on, so basically creates a drawn path, and measures speed rate, max, mins, and altitude. It's a friggin phone, how the CRAP does it do altitude. But it does! Swanky. Used that to get unlost in the forest the other day, as I do.
Go Time.
What every Restaurant Patron Really Needs:
See Figure 2
http://www.google.com/patents?id=atfSAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Friday, September 24, 2010
Blog 38: Well It Happened
Well it finally happened. Yep. It FINALLY HAPPENED. What you ask? Well let us consider those things that we all expect will one day happen but have not yet shall we? We all expect that one day a car will hit us crossing a road, we all expect that we will find a cockroach in our bed, we all expect that one day someone cutting out hair will accidentally take it down to the scalp. Well for me IT finally happened.
I got a paper cut on my tounge sealing an envelope.
I mean SERIOUSLY! I mean you think about it, but you also think "NO that can't happen. Somewhere someone brilliant designed the envelope to be paper cut free!" Incorrect! And that shit HURT. And to make matters worse it was for a property tax bill. So it hurts on the inside and on the outside (or perhaps inbetween seeing as it was my tounge)
Anywho. Let us summarize events of merriment.
Lots of fun things have happened recently one of the most notable things being my birthday. Woot! Freinds and I went to the Dogfish head Brewery and then back to our place for some games and good times. Enjoyment was had though I cannot recall all of it cause.. um... well lets just say I hit my head *wink*.
Went to the Wedding of my Brother in law and his girl. CONGRATS. That was quite the amusing wedding cause their crew is largely vegetarians and of a more eccentric nature than the people I usually see at work. Though the people I see at work are rather eccentric in their own unique way. The wedding was very cool though, lots of dancing, great food. Everyone wanted to stab the photographer which kinda scared me a bit cause she kept thinking a good picture was to stare into the sun through her viewfinder. We stayed at a beach house in MD and lots of relaxing was done.
Other than that the usual is going on. I usually find it easier to write a blog when I have something to rant about, so I shall begin a rant.
My dog.
My dog kicks ass. Honey Bun, named for her curly tail, is super cute and is chasing a laser around while I write this. Oddly enough I think she knows its a laser (she is a genius puppy) but she doesn't care and chases it for fun anyway. Like us watching movies. She had a bit of a scary run in a couple weeks ago when the vet gave her a vaccine without prepping her correctly and she passed out and had a bad allergic reaction and had to get some IV's stuck in her and benadril shots.
But she is back up and kicking now which is good. Meg apparently dound a contest trhough petsmart to dress her up and win money. There are few things in the world that are more horrible than dressing up a dog. Cute. But so sad at the same time. I think I shall dress her up as Cerberus the three headed dog of the underworld. We shall brainstorm and see though. Jacques on the other hand (our cat) got taken to the vet and told he has a failing liver. So they charged a billion dollars to tell me this and that the only thing I could do was pay MORE money for crazy stuff that MIGHT tell us a diagnosis that MIGHT be curable. FAIL. Pets are expensive, but only cause the vet rips you off. That and because they eat and poop a lot. The pets, not the vet. Though I'm sure the vet does too, but I felt it innapropriate to ask.
Yard is still out of control though I finally fixed the shed which had a tree fall on it. Still need to fix everything else though. The dog has figured out how to climb still higher on the couch, she now perches on the back and eats people's hair when they sit there. Very.... strange dog. Doing a little car hunting, thinking about getting rid of my car and picking up an SUV, as usual. Though I am debating a Nissan Exterra cause while I would love a jeep they tend to fall apart. Doin some kickball league again this year, which is very strange cause I am a fair bit older than most of the people who do that, ie. I have a masters degree. I found myself standing there yesterday thinking, "I think I'm the only one in this bar with a mortgage". Now THAT makes you feel like you are past your sell by date. But I have trouble remembering my age so that helps a bit ;) I find it odd that we keep giving the dog toys and treats that are bigger than her. Its amazing to see her dragging a bone bigger than herself around. Man, I feel like this blog rambles more than usual today.
And for those who may wonder, I honestly think like 90% of patents are seriously just people hiding condoms in weird ass places.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=GHSSAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
I got a paper cut on my tounge sealing an envelope.
I mean SERIOUSLY! I mean you think about it, but you also think "NO that can't happen. Somewhere someone brilliant designed the envelope to be paper cut free!" Incorrect! And that shit HURT. And to make matters worse it was for a property tax bill. So it hurts on the inside and on the outside (or perhaps inbetween seeing as it was my tounge)
Anywho. Let us summarize events of merriment.
Lots of fun things have happened recently one of the most notable things being my birthday. Woot! Freinds and I went to the Dogfish head Brewery and then back to our place for some games and good times. Enjoyment was had though I cannot recall all of it cause.. um... well lets just say I hit my head *wink*.
Went to the Wedding of my Brother in law and his girl. CONGRATS. That was quite the amusing wedding cause their crew is largely vegetarians and of a more eccentric nature than the people I usually see at work. Though the people I see at work are rather eccentric in their own unique way. The wedding was very cool though, lots of dancing, great food. Everyone wanted to stab the photographer which kinda scared me a bit cause she kept thinking a good picture was to stare into the sun through her viewfinder. We stayed at a beach house in MD and lots of relaxing was done.
Other than that the usual is going on. I usually find it easier to write a blog when I have something to rant about, so I shall begin a rant.
My dog.
My dog kicks ass. Honey Bun, named for her curly tail, is super cute and is chasing a laser around while I write this. Oddly enough I think she knows its a laser (she is a genius puppy) but she doesn't care and chases it for fun anyway. Like us watching movies. She had a bit of a scary run in a couple weeks ago when the vet gave her a vaccine without prepping her correctly and she passed out and had a bad allergic reaction and had to get some IV's stuck in her and benadril shots.
But she is back up and kicking now which is good. Meg apparently dound a contest trhough petsmart to dress her up and win money. There are few things in the world that are more horrible than dressing up a dog. Cute. But so sad at the same time. I think I shall dress her up as Cerberus the three headed dog of the underworld. We shall brainstorm and see though. Jacques on the other hand (our cat) got taken to the vet and told he has a failing liver. So they charged a billion dollars to tell me this and that the only thing I could do was pay MORE money for crazy stuff that MIGHT tell us a diagnosis that MIGHT be curable. FAIL. Pets are expensive, but only cause the vet rips you off. That and because they eat and poop a lot. The pets, not the vet. Though I'm sure the vet does too, but I felt it innapropriate to ask.
Yard is still out of control though I finally fixed the shed which had a tree fall on it. Still need to fix everything else though. The dog has figured out how to climb still higher on the couch, she now perches on the back and eats people's hair when they sit there. Very.... strange dog. Doing a little car hunting, thinking about getting rid of my car and picking up an SUV, as usual. Though I am debating a Nissan Exterra cause while I would love a jeep they tend to fall apart. Doin some kickball league again this year, which is very strange cause I am a fair bit older than most of the people who do that, ie. I have a masters degree. I found myself standing there yesterday thinking, "I think I'm the only one in this bar with a mortgage". Now THAT makes you feel like you are past your sell by date. But I have trouble remembering my age so that helps a bit ;) I find it odd that we keep giving the dog toys and treats that are bigger than her. Its amazing to see her dragging a bone bigger than herself around. Man, I feel like this blog rambles more than usual today.
And for those who may wonder, I honestly think like 90% of patents are seriously just people hiding condoms in weird ass places.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=GHSSAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Monday, August 23, 2010
Called Out
Okay, I'll admit it. I fail. No exscuses new blog time.
Alright first things first. My exscuses. While I am largely recovered from my bout of Poison Sumac (much like poison Ivy) I think my body is having flashbacks like Nam or an Acid Trip. Getting over that allergy trip, from Poison Sumac, to the latex gloves to I think sunlight at one point. Yea my body hates me, but I am solidly on the mend. Just got back from the beach, very pleased about that. The girl and I actually did the "drop everything and vacation" thing. We dropped everything last wed, found a bed and breakfast on Ocracoke Island NC in the Outer Banks and just went. It was super kickass cause you take a ferry out to this island after a bajillion hour drive, and just hang out on basically a deserted desert island. Well, not quite deserted, but everything is within about a square mile and everyone gets around on bikes. We hung out, grabbed good seafood, went to the beach, met nice people, and like every great horror story didn't see it coming. The mosquitoes. It was like some bad B-rated movie where a tanker spills toxic waste which mutates the local mosquito wildlife into a super sized super breading super mean as hell group of insects who will Take You OUT! You come down one morning to find that your host is missing and no one knows where you are. You go out for a stroll past the pool and a spunky couple hooking up there gets devoured while no one realizes it. Oh yes, the mosquitoes. Those flippin mosquitoes. We tried walking and they got us en mass, so we biked and were able to outrace them, but at one point we tried going on the "nature trail" which worked okay until we hit a hill and had to get off the bikes. Yea. Rule 1 of Horror Movies: Never look back. I lost Meg back there. It was terrible.
But other than the mosquitoes it was quite fun. Super warm water, and beach that went on forever. Kind of like Heaven. Or hell if you don't like beaches. Very Sandy either way.
Let me see what else have I been up to. Mainly just recovering from my allergies. I avoided the sun for about a month and half only emerging outside when it was cloudy or raining like some sort of super lame vampire.
Aaaaaand Asleep.
Yep, I fell asleep while writing this. I'm like some sort of old man who falls asleep while writing his memoirs because they are JUST THAT RIVETING. Well I'm awake and at work now finishing this, why? Cause I'm a valuable employee who takes his job seriously. But in my own defence I've been uber tired cause Meg has gone back to work at the school system so she's up early, and even earlier cause we have to walk the puppy, and so I am consequently losing sleep. Though in truth my Lazy ass has been living it up with 9 hours a night for awhile now, though I think I needed it to heal.
Lots of activities coming up, there is the William and Mary College Homecoming around the corner, I am a groomsman in a freind's wedding which is sadly over the Halloween weekend. He might just look up to see one of his groomsmen in costume and while it will be in a tux, I might be dressed as Skeletor in a tux. This is the price you pay for having a wedding over Halloween. Have the brother in law's wedding coming up. I am excited about that cause the wife got me some snazzy clothes to wear, which she has forbid me to wear in public until the wedding. Not really sure why, and they seem like they'd be fun going out clothes, but I guess looking at my track record of playing in the dirt this postponment is understandable. Heading to Reedville for a drinking competition or as I like to call it, Labor Day. So that will also be entertaining though I doubt I will remember much of it except the confusion as to how I ended up in the middle of the bay at 4 in the morning as they do. Oh, birthday coming up, so that will be interesting, though it falls very close to the bro-in-laws wedding, so I might have to fudge that a bit, you know, cupcake with a candle in it singing to myself in the bathroom when no one is watching. ;) Creepy yet sad, just the way birthdays should be, though I still have a year to go till 30. Kind of strange really. Most of the people I hang out with are much younger than I, but I never realize it. I usually forget my age and have to ask Meg. After you hit 25 and get that Car Insurance break it no longer matters unless you want to run for senate or get into movies as a senior citizen. People make such a big deal about hitting 30, where I think they used to make a big deal about 40. I wonder if people make a big deal about 65 or senior citizen status. My goal is to make it to 100 and do so with flair. That's right. Wearing a cape at my 100th birthday bash. But if I were to live to 100 I think I would have outlived everyone I have ever known. Granted you will know new people and have kids and stuff, but more or less, everyone I know now would be gone. Kinda spooky, but also all my enemies would be gone, and that is good. Too bad all my loans wouldn't be gone. I feel like if you make it to 100 the government should give you like a mansion. Like a good job for making it so far package. It's not like it would be used for too long, and they it could be re-gifted to the next 100 year old. My goal actually is to live to at least 127. Why? Cause that is the year that if I make it to, and if the wife is still around (alive, cause I wouldn't be able to make it that long without someone to prevent me from wandering off seniley into the woods) then we would have a 100th wedding anniversary. I do not think anyone has ever made it to a 100th wedding anniversary. Not sure what I would give her if we made it that far. Maybe a new oxygen tank or something. Shiny new walker, one of those little scooters.
It is strange to think about being old. I just hope that technology advances fast enough that when I start getting arthritis I can get a badass robotic arm or something.
Well I think I am going to fall asleep again at my computer. Er... I mean... get back to work.... yes. I have to say, vehicle exhaust systems can be interesting but I feel very nerdy when I try to explain it to people. Though I feel very manly when i say my job is crushing dreams. *insert evil laugh here....zzzzzzzz
Out!
For those Lonely Nights out in the Pastures, we bring you.... Lamb Passion!
http://www.google.com/patents?id=jViaAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Alright first things first. My exscuses. While I am largely recovered from my bout of Poison Sumac (much like poison Ivy) I think my body is having flashbacks like Nam or an Acid Trip. Getting over that allergy trip, from Poison Sumac, to the latex gloves to I think sunlight at one point. Yea my body hates me, but I am solidly on the mend. Just got back from the beach, very pleased about that. The girl and I actually did the "drop everything and vacation" thing. We dropped everything last wed, found a bed and breakfast on Ocracoke Island NC in the Outer Banks and just went. It was super kickass cause you take a ferry out to this island after a bajillion hour drive, and just hang out on basically a deserted desert island. Well, not quite deserted, but everything is within about a square mile and everyone gets around on bikes. We hung out, grabbed good seafood, went to the beach, met nice people, and like every great horror story didn't see it coming. The mosquitoes. It was like some bad B-rated movie where a tanker spills toxic waste which mutates the local mosquito wildlife into a super sized super breading super mean as hell group of insects who will Take You OUT! You come down one morning to find that your host is missing and no one knows where you are. You go out for a stroll past the pool and a spunky couple hooking up there gets devoured while no one realizes it. Oh yes, the mosquitoes. Those flippin mosquitoes. We tried walking and they got us en mass, so we biked and were able to outrace them, but at one point we tried going on the "nature trail" which worked okay until we hit a hill and had to get off the bikes. Yea. Rule 1 of Horror Movies: Never look back. I lost Meg back there. It was terrible.
But other than the mosquitoes it was quite fun. Super warm water, and beach that went on forever. Kind of like Heaven. Or hell if you don't like beaches. Very Sandy either way.
Let me see what else have I been up to. Mainly just recovering from my allergies. I avoided the sun for about a month and half only emerging outside when it was cloudy or raining like some sort of super lame vampire.
Aaaaaand Asleep.
Yep, I fell asleep while writing this. I'm like some sort of old man who falls asleep while writing his memoirs because they are JUST THAT RIVETING. Well I'm awake and at work now finishing this, why? Cause I'm a valuable employee who takes his job seriously. But in my own defence I've been uber tired cause Meg has gone back to work at the school system so she's up early, and even earlier cause we have to walk the puppy, and so I am consequently losing sleep. Though in truth my Lazy ass has been living it up with 9 hours a night for awhile now, though I think I needed it to heal.
Lots of activities coming up, there is the William and Mary College Homecoming around the corner, I am a groomsman in a freind's wedding which is sadly over the Halloween weekend. He might just look up to see one of his groomsmen in costume and while it will be in a tux, I might be dressed as Skeletor in a tux. This is the price you pay for having a wedding over Halloween. Have the brother in law's wedding coming up. I am excited about that cause the wife got me some snazzy clothes to wear, which she has forbid me to wear in public until the wedding. Not really sure why, and they seem like they'd be fun going out clothes, but I guess looking at my track record of playing in the dirt this postponment is understandable. Heading to Reedville for a drinking competition or as I like to call it, Labor Day. So that will also be entertaining though I doubt I will remember much of it except the confusion as to how I ended up in the middle of the bay at 4 in the morning as they do. Oh, birthday coming up, so that will be interesting, though it falls very close to the bro-in-laws wedding, so I might have to fudge that a bit, you know, cupcake with a candle in it singing to myself in the bathroom when no one is watching. ;) Creepy yet sad, just the way birthdays should be, though I still have a year to go till 30. Kind of strange really. Most of the people I hang out with are much younger than I, but I never realize it. I usually forget my age and have to ask Meg. After you hit 25 and get that Car Insurance break it no longer matters unless you want to run for senate or get into movies as a senior citizen. People make such a big deal about hitting 30, where I think they used to make a big deal about 40. I wonder if people make a big deal about 65 or senior citizen status. My goal is to make it to 100 and do so with flair. That's right. Wearing a cape at my 100th birthday bash. But if I were to live to 100 I think I would have outlived everyone I have ever known. Granted you will know new people and have kids and stuff, but more or less, everyone I know now would be gone. Kinda spooky, but also all my enemies would be gone, and that is good. Too bad all my loans wouldn't be gone. I feel like if you make it to 100 the government should give you like a mansion. Like a good job for making it so far package. It's not like it would be used for too long, and they it could be re-gifted to the next 100 year old. My goal actually is to live to at least 127. Why? Cause that is the year that if I make it to, and if the wife is still around (alive, cause I wouldn't be able to make it that long without someone to prevent me from wandering off seniley into the woods) then we would have a 100th wedding anniversary. I do not think anyone has ever made it to a 100th wedding anniversary. Not sure what I would give her if we made it that far. Maybe a new oxygen tank or something. Shiny new walker, one of those little scooters.
It is strange to think about being old. I just hope that technology advances fast enough that when I start getting arthritis I can get a badass robotic arm or something.
Well I think I am going to fall asleep again at my computer. Er... I mean... get back to work.... yes. I have to say, vehicle exhaust systems can be interesting but I feel very nerdy when I try to explain it to people. Though I feel very manly when i say my job is crushing dreams. *insert evil laugh here....zzzzzzzz
Out!
For those Lonely Nights out in the Pastures, we bring you.... Lamb Passion!
http://www.google.com/patents?id=jViaAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Saturday, July 17, 2010
BLog 36: Dear Diary
Dear Diary, it is currently 5:00 in the morning on a Saturday as I write this. I have been up since about 3. Why you may ask? Well let my story unfold for you.
When we bought this house there were several things wrong with it because the previous owners did not take the best care of it. We have had to replace the washer dryer, the air conditioning unit, paint and clean excessivly, insulation yada yada yada and you get the picture. Now one thing that we had requested they fix when we bought the house was to remove a large old tree in the back yard. They declined to do this and we eventually settled on some other terms.
Now about a week ago a large branch fell out of the tree in the back yard and I thought to myself, hmm, that tree sure is choked out by several types of climing vines, I think I should start getting estimates to get it taken down. Well guess what happened before the first estimate came in. Yep, it fell. Now luckily it was only the largest chunk that fell and when it did if fell through my neighbors fence, but the lucky part was that it managed to only clip the shed (mine) and actually just knocked the section of fence out of its spot without breaking it, and it also managed to not hit any of the bazillion toys the lazy neighbors leave lying around thier yard. Anyway I went and got a chainsaw, chopped it up, bolted the fence back in got someone signed on to take down the rest of the tree and bob's your uncle.
THEN. I began to itch. Now keep in mind I checked to make sure I wasn't working in poison ivy, cause I'm really allergic to it. What I DIDN'T know I was allergic to was Poison Sumac. And let me tell you. There was a lot of it. So now I find myself covered head to toe in... well... lets just call it living death. I slept a total of 30 minutes the first night and then yesterday I went to the doctor (where I waited for about 2 hours to see the doctor. I need a new doctor) and got some steroids and some sort of steriod creme. Yea, still death. I am currently taking 4 steroid pills a day, 4 advil at a time several times a day, 2 benadril several times a day, some other meds cause my immune system is shot from this condition, and I am still not able to sleep. And don't tell me not to overmedicate myself cause right now if I find myself in a hospital bed cause I had to get my stomach pumped my first thought will be "Sweet, I must have passed out and actually gotten some SLEEP". The only reason I made it till 3 oclock this morning was by the tried and true method of getting really drunk. So currently all the meds in the world don't stop me from feeling like shit but getting drunk can actually allow me to get my head down. And what truly sucks is that for some reason this is party weekend, one group of freinds is going to the beach, and another was going tubing (which is what I had signed up for awhile back). Yea, can't go to any of it. Instead I get to sit in the bathtub sloshing around most of the weekend in an oatmeal back because it makes me want to die just a very little bit less. I have included a pic as a sample of what this looks like.
But lets see, what else have I gotten up to lately. Well we did get the tree taken down with a minimal amount of fuss. The one issue we had was that the people taking it down had agreed to take it to stump level, but when the going got tough they said they could bring the stump down any shorter than 14 feet high cause it was too thick. Yea, not so pleased about it. I talked to them once about it, they shot me down. Meg talked to them about it, they said they could get it to 4 feet. We both went and talked to them about it, and while Meg talk I basically had a seizure from the pain of my poison sumac which I think they took as fear of me for my spouse and they caved and took the stump to the ground. So the sumac may have its up side. Not worth the down side though.
Puppy is doing great, though once you teach her a trick she thinks that all the tricks you request are the same one. Now no matter what you tell her to do she just rolls over. Cute puppy, but she'll get there. We took her to puppy training cause, hell, I don't know what I'm doing. It was amusing, lots of hyper puppies and I think the only think ours learned were the bad habits of the other dogs. Le sigh. Still class 1 of 8 so we will see how it goes.
Well I am officially up before the early birds cause they just came out and are yelling at each other about worms and sex. Hate birds in the morning. Love thick windows. Had thin windows at my old place in Alexandria and man those birds were very vocal about thier "goings on".
Other than that I don't think I've been up to too much. Minor house projects moving forward, oh, we got someone to put in a half bath upstairs which is going to be SWEET. Why you ask? What is wrong with having just one bathroom in the house you ask? The problem is that my wife has a pavlovian responce that when she hears the bathroom door close she immediatly has to go potty. It is AMAZINGLY accurate. So now this will no longer be an issue.
Aight, I think I might try to sleep a little more.
D289821 : Cause sometimes you just need a hat that says just what you're thinking.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=u7Q8AAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false
When we bought this house there were several things wrong with it because the previous owners did not take the best care of it. We have had to replace the washer dryer, the air conditioning unit, paint and clean excessivly, insulation yada yada yada and you get the picture. Now one thing that we had requested they fix when we bought the house was to remove a large old tree in the back yard. They declined to do this and we eventually settled on some other terms.
Now about a week ago a large branch fell out of the tree in the back yard and I thought to myself, hmm, that tree sure is choked out by several types of climing vines, I think I should start getting estimates to get it taken down. Well guess what happened before the first estimate came in. Yep, it fell. Now luckily it was only the largest chunk that fell and when it did if fell through my neighbors fence, but the lucky part was that it managed to only clip the shed (mine) and actually just knocked the section of fence out of its spot without breaking it, and it also managed to not hit any of the bazillion toys the lazy neighbors leave lying around thier yard. Anyway I went and got a chainsaw, chopped it up, bolted the fence back in got someone signed on to take down the rest of the tree and bob's your uncle.
THEN. I began to itch. Now keep in mind I checked to make sure I wasn't working in poison ivy, cause I'm really allergic to it. What I DIDN'T know I was allergic to was Poison Sumac. And let me tell you. There was a lot of it. So now I find myself covered head to toe in... well... lets just call it living death. I slept a total of 30 minutes the first night and then yesterday I went to the doctor (where I waited for about 2 hours to see the doctor. I need a new doctor) and got some steroids and some sort of steriod creme. Yea, still death. I am currently taking 4 steroid pills a day, 4 advil at a time several times a day, 2 benadril several times a day, some other meds cause my immune system is shot from this condition, and I am still not able to sleep. And don't tell me not to overmedicate myself cause right now if I find myself in a hospital bed cause I had to get my stomach pumped my first thought will be "Sweet, I must have passed out and actually gotten some SLEEP". The only reason I made it till 3 oclock this morning was by the tried and true method of getting really drunk. So currently all the meds in the world don't stop me from feeling like shit but getting drunk can actually allow me to get my head down. And what truly sucks is that for some reason this is party weekend, one group of freinds is going to the beach, and another was going tubing (which is what I had signed up for awhile back). Yea, can't go to any of it. Instead I get to sit in the bathtub sloshing around most of the weekend in an oatmeal back because it makes me want to die just a very little bit less. I have included a pic as a sample of what this looks like.
But lets see, what else have I gotten up to lately. Well we did get the tree taken down with a minimal amount of fuss. The one issue we had was that the people taking it down had agreed to take it to stump level, but when the going got tough they said they could bring the stump down any shorter than 14 feet high cause it was too thick. Yea, not so pleased about it. I talked to them once about it, they shot me down. Meg talked to them about it, they said they could get it to 4 feet. We both went and talked to them about it, and while Meg talk I basically had a seizure from the pain of my poison sumac which I think they took as fear of me for my spouse and they caved and took the stump to the ground. So the sumac may have its up side. Not worth the down side though.
Puppy is doing great, though once you teach her a trick she thinks that all the tricks you request are the same one. Now no matter what you tell her to do she just rolls over. Cute puppy, but she'll get there. We took her to puppy training cause, hell, I don't know what I'm doing. It was amusing, lots of hyper puppies and I think the only think ours learned were the bad habits of the other dogs. Le sigh. Still class 1 of 8 so we will see how it goes.
Well I am officially up before the early birds cause they just came out and are yelling at each other about worms and sex. Hate birds in the morning. Love thick windows. Had thin windows at my old place in Alexandria and man those birds were very vocal about thier "goings on".
Other than that I don't think I've been up to too much. Minor house projects moving forward, oh, we got someone to put in a half bath upstairs which is going to be SWEET. Why you ask? What is wrong with having just one bathroom in the house you ask? The problem is that my wife has a pavlovian responce that when she hears the bathroom door close she immediatly has to go potty. It is AMAZINGLY accurate. So now this will no longer be an issue.
Aight, I think I might try to sleep a little more.
D289821 : Cause sometimes you just need a hat that says just what you're thinking.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=u7Q8AAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false
Thursday, July 1, 2010
07/01/2010: Yea yea I know.
Well new blog time. Truth be told it was new blog time like a week ago, but I just have no sense of timing. ANYWAY. Let us review what is new in the life of this guy.
The amusing thing that happened today was that there is a box for food donations to the hungry at my work place. Now keep in mind, this is a BIG office and consequently a BIG box, like the king you would get a mini fridge in. And what was inside it you say? What plethora of foodstuffs do the government workers have to offer to those families less fortunate? One, yes ONE, Apple Strudel. Those kind you get at 7-11 that are under a dollar. Eat well families of fate, eat well those denizens of poor fortune and dine, nay FEAST, on Apple Strudel. I am actually shaking my head sadly as I write this.
New News. Got me a puppy. A little beast of pure poo-dome. But bar none, the cutest thing I have EVER seen. So when you get woken up at 4 in the morning only to turn on the lights to see the puppy has not only eaten her bed, which I must say defies physics as it is bigger than her, but apparently has the digestive tract of a Sawmill and has already pooed it out, only to, yes you saw this one coming, use it again as a bed. It's recycling at work. So when you are awoken out of the dream where you are scrooge McDucking it into a pile of cash only to have to clean up vast VAST amounts of puppy poo, and you feel like wringing their little neck, it is good, at least for them, to be so uncontrollably cute that even being covered in your own feces comes across as mind boggling adorable. Note, babies do NOT and never shall possess this ability, if they did everyone would have one and teen pregnancy would be the "in" thing, but this puppy can, and so needless to say potty training is a little hard when you can't scold them for tracking poo around the house. But this puppy is a handful. She has already eaten a bee and had her head swell to the size of a softball where we had to take her to the vet. While she started off scared of EVERYTHING, she is now attempting frequently to run into the road, thinks that she chases away cars, yes CARS, by barking at them, and she has on multiple occasions "rolled with the big boys" which is no exaggeration as she has bitten and hung on as she has been lifted off the ground, to the face of the in laws Great Danes, who, thankfully, are too nice to eat her in response. Pictures to follow.
What else is new. Hmm. Reached a new top bench weight the other day. For awhile friend Joe and I have been gyming it so I have been able to lift more weight cause there is someone there to catch it when I drop it on myself. Other people in the gym, not so keen to help. I think they find it amusing to watch someone squirm under a barbell for awhile. Keeps them in their place. But new weight reached was 245 lbs on the bench on a surprisingly zero energy day, or as I like to count it 17.5 Stone. Rock it old school style.
Went wine touring on Saturday and got a bit toasty. It was "bring your dog with you" wine tour day so we saw many a puppy but I think ours took the cake and ate it too. Finished off the night by lighting up the new fire pit with gasoline. Drinking, and using gasoline as lighter fluid = not the best idea in the world. And for anyone who hasn't yet, while it is impressive, the ignition WILL knock you off your feet. First hand experience is all I will say, and I will add that that is a very sturdy fire pit and that we discovered rocks CAN burn under the right conditions.
Did the 48 film competition the other weekend. For those who don't know the 48 hour film competition is where you roll in and get a genre, a character name, a prop, and a line of dialogue and must make a 5 minute film with these in under 48 hours. We ended up getting Sci-Fi this year, and I got to act in it, while not really helping in other aspects due to time constraints, but it came out alright. The link is here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIbX6uaJF8U
The way it is written is that a guy unknowingly is stuck in a TVesque world. Not sure if the writing reveals that to the degree it was hoped, but I think the cinematography and original musical score came out very nice.
Planning on cutting down a tree in my backyard tomorrow. Note that if you don't hear from me again if could mean I have crushed myself, or that I am just lazy. Sorry there isn't a better way to relate my fate. I'm sure the suspense will just frazzle you. Man, did I just use the world frazzle? My word.
Lastly (and yes I am reading off a list I have of things to talk about so SUCK IT), is that friend Brett just got a new Sprint phone and I WANT IT. This phone makes me realize how technologically far behind I am with my crappy phone which has broken 4 times and been replaced 4 times. His phone has an 8 pixel camera which is better than my REAL camera, and it has, follow me on this one folks, not ONE, but TWO cameras. And a kickstand. This thing is closer to a motorcycle than a phone. I want one, but sadly, I must wait for my contract to be up with Verizon or suffer their penalties which include large fees, being prattled at by them, them selling your information to everyone in the WORLD who will send you junk mail, a slap across the face by the mail man and possible circumcision. Boo.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=sh-TAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Touch Twister: I kid you not, you blindfold yourself and do it by feel. I'm sure there is no way THIS has ever ended badly.
The amusing thing that happened today was that there is a box for food donations to the hungry at my work place. Now keep in mind, this is a BIG office and consequently a BIG box, like the king you would get a mini fridge in. And what was inside it you say? What plethora of foodstuffs do the government workers have to offer to those families less fortunate? One, yes ONE, Apple Strudel. Those kind you get at 7-11 that are under a dollar. Eat well families of fate, eat well those denizens of poor fortune and dine, nay FEAST, on Apple Strudel. I am actually shaking my head sadly as I write this.
New News. Got me a puppy. A little beast of pure poo-dome. But bar none, the cutest thing I have EVER seen. So when you get woken up at 4 in the morning only to turn on the lights to see the puppy has not only eaten her bed, which I must say defies physics as it is bigger than her, but apparently has the digestive tract of a Sawmill and has already pooed it out, only to, yes you saw this one coming, use it again as a bed. It's recycling at work. So when you are awoken out of the dream where you are scrooge McDucking it into a pile of cash only to have to clean up vast VAST amounts of puppy poo, and you feel like wringing their little neck, it is good, at least for them, to be so uncontrollably cute that even being covered in your own feces comes across as mind boggling adorable. Note, babies do NOT and never shall possess this ability, if they did everyone would have one and teen pregnancy would be the "in" thing, but this puppy can, and so needless to say potty training is a little hard when you can't scold them for tracking poo around the house. But this puppy is a handful. She has already eaten a bee and had her head swell to the size of a softball where we had to take her to the vet. While she started off scared of EVERYTHING, she is now attempting frequently to run into the road, thinks that she chases away cars, yes CARS, by barking at them, and she has on multiple occasions "rolled with the big boys" which is no exaggeration as she has bitten and hung on as she has been lifted off the ground, to the face of the in laws Great Danes, who, thankfully, are too nice to eat her in response. Pictures to follow.
What else is new. Hmm. Reached a new top bench weight the other day. For awhile friend Joe and I have been gyming it so I have been able to lift more weight cause there is someone there to catch it when I drop it on myself. Other people in the gym, not so keen to help. I think they find it amusing to watch someone squirm under a barbell for awhile. Keeps them in their place. But new weight reached was 245 lbs on the bench on a surprisingly zero energy day, or as I like to count it 17.5 Stone. Rock it old school style.
Went wine touring on Saturday and got a bit toasty. It was "bring your dog with you" wine tour day so we saw many a puppy but I think ours took the cake and ate it too. Finished off the night by lighting up the new fire pit with gasoline. Drinking, and using gasoline as lighter fluid = not the best idea in the world. And for anyone who hasn't yet, while it is impressive, the ignition WILL knock you off your feet. First hand experience is all I will say, and I will add that that is a very sturdy fire pit and that we discovered rocks CAN burn under the right conditions.
Did the 48 film competition the other weekend. For those who don't know the 48 hour film competition is where you roll in and get a genre, a character name, a prop, and a line of dialogue and must make a 5 minute film with these in under 48 hours. We ended up getting Sci-Fi this year, and I got to act in it, while not really helping in other aspects due to time constraints, but it came out alright. The link is here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIbX6uaJF8U
The way it is written is that a guy unknowingly is stuck in a TVesque world. Not sure if the writing reveals that to the degree it was hoped, but I think the cinematography and original musical score came out very nice.
Planning on cutting down a tree in my backyard tomorrow. Note that if you don't hear from me again if could mean I have crushed myself, or that I am just lazy. Sorry there isn't a better way to relate my fate. I'm sure the suspense will just frazzle you. Man, did I just use the world frazzle? My word.
Lastly (and yes I am reading off a list I have of things to talk about so SUCK IT), is that friend Brett just got a new Sprint phone and I WANT IT. This phone makes me realize how technologically far behind I am with my crappy phone which has broken 4 times and been replaced 4 times. His phone has an 8 pixel camera which is better than my REAL camera, and it has, follow me on this one folks, not ONE, but TWO cameras. And a kickstand. This thing is closer to a motorcycle than a phone. I want one, but sadly, I must wait for my contract to be up with Verizon or suffer their penalties which include large fees, being prattled at by them, them selling your information to everyone in the WORLD who will send you junk mail, a slap across the face by the mail man and possible circumcision. Boo.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=sh-TAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Touch Twister: I kid you not, you blindfold yourself and do it by feel. I'm sure there is no way THIS has ever ended badly.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Blog 34: The New Suitcoat
Yes, well, the title has nothing to do with anything. I always feel bad when I slack off and don't write for awhile, cause I have so many things to talk about but they fade with memory so it is hard to divulge when I write. But I will do my best. Perhaps I will one day actually write every day like I first promised. At this rate getting to step 1000 will be like when I'm 80. Bah! Get off my lawn!
Lets see, fun things to talk about. Went in for a job interview recently. One of my friends got me the interview so I figured I would see what I had to offer the world, seeing as my job has me doing the same thing day in and day out. Now don't get me wrong, my job has a lot of perks, but I want to be able to feel like I have skills people want, and currently, that ain't so. With my current job skill set I feel like I have the ability to BS and piss people off in written form. But back to the interview. It was for a Contracting company that does analysis on other companies to help them run more efficiently when completing their own projects. I find it interesting how companies pay other companies to do all their thinking for them. Very interesting. But anyway, it was an unusual interview cause I don't actually think they had a position in mind. I'm used to the whole "We have a square hole, are you a square peg sort of guy" attitude. I think my Friend pitched me well enough so they were like, "Sweet! You are a dodecahedron shaped guy, let us see if we can scrounge up a dodecahedron shaped hole". Very odd in that regard. One part of the interview that freaked me out was that they have 4 divisions, and I was asked which I liked, and it felt like he had laid down four cards and asked me to choose the right one, and under the other cards were certain death. How can certain death be under a card? Spider probably. Trained, spider otherwise it would bite him too. Crazy company and their trained spiders.
Lets see what else have we been up to. Went to Reedville, and have been meaning to blog about that. Good times were had by all, and the car ride was laughs non stop. But let me tell you this. I don't think that there is much to do in Reedville, ie. there are no Best Buys or Starbucks or Target or any of that stuff. Can't even get cellphone reception. Very very peaceful and I like it. But what, do I ask myself, do they do for something to DO down there. I think they work out their livers. Those people can DRINK. I was up till about 4 for three nights running and was still put to bed by everyone down there. They have endurance let me tell you. And not only do they drink more and stay up later, they will then proceed to do household chores in the middle of the night for no real reason, such as airing up tires on bikes, cleaning, and building and installing a dock. That's right folks. Leave it to Reedvillians to build and install a dock in the middle of the night after a case or two. These people are Tanks, and I can only hope to try and keep up. Hehe, I like the term Reedvillians, as though most of America's corporate villainy comes from this small town. Amused.
What else is new. Getting a puppy. Finally. Little Pug puppy, picking up next week, should be good times. I apparently get to name the puppy according to Meg. I have to wonder if that will actually be the case. I tried pitching a few names. Sheera, Skelator, Captain Planet. It is not my fault that the 80's took all the good names out there. I have been shot down so far, but we will see. I also chose Jezebelle as a possible name, though I was then informed that calling my dog a whore (apparently that is what a Jezebelle is, you know, if you are from the Eighteen Hundreds!) is not so Kosher. So we are still looking for a name. I think I will probably come up with something when I see her. Probably Hey You, or Dog. We will see.
No real projects in the works. Been mulching steadily for what feels like years, and still have a giant pile in the yard. Still fighting the city about a fence. Apparently my 300$ was not convincing enough and they need a persuasive letter. Boo that crap, just take my 300$ as a bribe and let me build. Work is still a pain in the ass, though I got promoted, but all that really means is I need to churn out more work for, wait for it, less pay. How you may ask? Because if I worked it as overtime like I had been doing I would have been getting 4 times the pay that I will be now for that difference in work. Lame. Oh well, I hope to one day hit the next pay grade so I can work from home. Or "work" as I call it. If you can do it in your underwear it stops being work and becomes "work". Porn stars "work", though if you think about it, they aren't really in their underwear either. They "work" half the time, and *work* the other half. I am running out of ASCII code to use to define the different forms of "work*.
Watched the worst movie in the world the other day. The new Tim Burton's "Alice" was quite possibly the most ridiculously horrible movie I have seen in years. I think Tim Burton is no longer used to directing real people. I mean the new Willy Wonka movie was bad, but this Alice movie was something unreal. I mean, seriously, it ended in a dance party. A DANCE PARTY. WTF!? None of the characters were well developed. For example the Hatter himself, played by Johnny Depp, would switch between normal speech and a Scottish Accent for what appeared to be no reason at all, and his eyes would change color... you got it... for no reason at all. It just didn't make sense. And it ended Prince of Persia style were everyone in classic Disney Mode is like "Yea, we'll follow you whoever you are to stop the bad people cause they are... well... bad. Huzza!" Super Dumb. And there was a lot more violence in this movie that I recall in previous Disney films. I mean, eyes are gouged out, heads cut off (and not just talked about, actually cut off) and the movie ends with Alice drinking blood. Yes, she DRINKS BLOOD. Seriously??! Has this whole Twilight Fad gotten so out of hand that it is now okay to Drink BLOOD? Fuck That! Also, the preview for the new Twilight Movie called something like Moon over my Twilight or Twilight Mooning out the window or some crap like that is quite possibly the culmination of everything I hate about movies right now. I think the day it opens a black hole will open up and suck in all the kittens and babies in the world (but only the quiet babies, the loud ones would stick around cause they suck), and the puppies. The day that movie opens I'm gonna be in a bomb shelter under my house with my girl, my puppy, and my turtle. The cat will be fine cause he is annoying and will probably hide on his own anyway. I wish I could set fire to ideas like I set fire to the people I do not like. Sadly, I am metaphorically restricted. But really, when did Vampires stop being evil. I mean they drink BLOOD and KILL PEOPLE, they do NOT FUCKING SPARKLE IN THE SUN. Screw this, I'm gonna go watch that terrible Van Hellsing movie from a few years ago, Lost Boys, and Blade to feel better
cause those movies put Vampires in their PLACE, and that place is not in your BED. Stupid Twilight Crap.
Out and Annoyed!
Fig 3a and 3b. I don't get it. But all I can say is... I kinda wanna try it.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=06MDAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Lets see, fun things to talk about. Went in for a job interview recently. One of my friends got me the interview so I figured I would see what I had to offer the world, seeing as my job has me doing the same thing day in and day out. Now don't get me wrong, my job has a lot of perks, but I want to be able to feel like I have skills people want, and currently, that ain't so. With my current job skill set I feel like I have the ability to BS and piss people off in written form. But back to the interview. It was for a Contracting company that does analysis on other companies to help them run more efficiently when completing their own projects. I find it interesting how companies pay other companies to do all their thinking for them. Very interesting. But anyway, it was an unusual interview cause I don't actually think they had a position in mind. I'm used to the whole "We have a square hole, are you a square peg sort of guy" attitude. I think my Friend pitched me well enough so they were like, "Sweet! You are a dodecahedron shaped guy, let us see if we can scrounge up a dodecahedron shaped hole". Very odd in that regard. One part of the interview that freaked me out was that they have 4 divisions, and I was asked which I liked, and it felt like he had laid down four cards and asked me to choose the right one, and under the other cards were certain death. How can certain death be under a card? Spider probably. Trained, spider otherwise it would bite him too. Crazy company and their trained spiders.
Lets see what else have we been up to. Went to Reedville, and have been meaning to blog about that. Good times were had by all, and the car ride was laughs non stop. But let me tell you this. I don't think that there is much to do in Reedville, ie. there are no Best Buys or Starbucks or Target or any of that stuff. Can't even get cellphone reception. Very very peaceful and I like it. But what, do I ask myself, do they do for something to DO down there. I think they work out their livers. Those people can DRINK. I was up till about 4 for three nights running and was still put to bed by everyone down there. They have endurance let me tell you. And not only do they drink more and stay up later, they will then proceed to do household chores in the middle of the night for no real reason, such as airing up tires on bikes, cleaning, and building and installing a dock. That's right folks. Leave it to Reedvillians to build and install a dock in the middle of the night after a case or two. These people are Tanks, and I can only hope to try and keep up. Hehe, I like the term Reedvillians, as though most of America's corporate villainy comes from this small town. Amused.
What else is new. Getting a puppy. Finally. Little Pug puppy, picking up next week, should be good times. I apparently get to name the puppy according to Meg. I have to wonder if that will actually be the case. I tried pitching a few names. Sheera, Skelator, Captain Planet. It is not my fault that the 80's took all the good names out there. I have been shot down so far, but we will see. I also chose Jezebelle as a possible name, though I was then informed that calling my dog a whore (apparently that is what a Jezebelle is, you know, if you are from the Eighteen Hundreds!) is not so Kosher. So we are still looking for a name. I think I will probably come up with something when I see her. Probably Hey You, or Dog. We will see.
No real projects in the works. Been mulching steadily for what feels like years, and still have a giant pile in the yard. Still fighting the city about a fence. Apparently my 300$ was not convincing enough and they need a persuasive letter. Boo that crap, just take my 300$ as a bribe and let me build. Work is still a pain in the ass, though I got promoted, but all that really means is I need to churn out more work for, wait for it, less pay. How you may ask? Because if I worked it as overtime like I had been doing I would have been getting 4 times the pay that I will be now for that difference in work. Lame. Oh well, I hope to one day hit the next pay grade so I can work from home. Or "work" as I call it. If you can do it in your underwear it stops being work and becomes "work". Porn stars "work", though if you think about it, they aren't really in their underwear either. They "work" half the time, and *work* the other half. I am running out of ASCII code to use to define the different forms of "work*.
Watched the worst movie in the world the other day. The new Tim Burton's "Alice" was quite possibly the most ridiculously horrible movie I have seen in years. I think Tim Burton is no longer used to directing real people. I mean the new Willy Wonka movie was bad, but this Alice movie was something unreal. I mean, seriously, it ended in a dance party. A DANCE PARTY. WTF!? None of the characters were well developed. For example the Hatter himself, played by Johnny Depp, would switch between normal speech and a Scottish Accent for what appeared to be no reason at all, and his eyes would change color... you got it... for no reason at all. It just didn't make sense. And it ended Prince of Persia style were everyone in classic Disney Mode is like "Yea, we'll follow you whoever you are to stop the bad people cause they are... well... bad. Huzza!" Super Dumb. And there was a lot more violence in this movie that I recall in previous Disney films. I mean, eyes are gouged out, heads cut off (and not just talked about, actually cut off) and the movie ends with Alice drinking blood. Yes, she DRINKS BLOOD. Seriously??! Has this whole Twilight Fad gotten so out of hand that it is now okay to Drink BLOOD? Fuck That! Also, the preview for the new Twilight Movie called something like Moon over my Twilight or Twilight Mooning out the window or some crap like that is quite possibly the culmination of everything I hate about movies right now. I think the day it opens a black hole will open up and suck in all the kittens and babies in the world (but only the quiet babies, the loud ones would stick around cause they suck), and the puppies. The day that movie opens I'm gonna be in a bomb shelter under my house with my girl, my puppy, and my turtle. The cat will be fine cause he is annoying and will probably hide on his own anyway. I wish I could set fire to ideas like I set fire to the people I do not like. Sadly, I am metaphorically restricted. But really, when did Vampires stop being evil. I mean they drink BLOOD and KILL PEOPLE, they do NOT FUCKING SPARKLE IN THE SUN. Screw this, I'm gonna go watch that terrible Van Hellsing movie from a few years ago, Lost Boys, and Blade to feel better
cause those movies put Vampires in their PLACE, and that place is not in your BED. Stupid Twilight Crap.
Out and Annoyed!
Fig 3a and 3b. I don't get it. But all I can say is... I kinda wanna try it.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=06MDAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
5/25/10 - Grrrrr
Well, if you like the show Lost and have not seen the finale please read no further as I am about to do some commentary.
Dear Lost. I have two words for you. Fuck You.
I stuck with you for the last 5 years even when you took long breaks and time off to do god knows what. And THAT is what I got. Seriously? Did you fucking forget where you were going with that? Did you get that ending off of a Bazooka Joe gum wrapper? What The Fuck?!
Now there may be some people out there who are like "Oh no, it was deep" or "Don't you see the underlying meaning?"
No, I don't. Why? Cause there isn't any. They didn't plan for the ending and we got crap. I mean, was the island purgatory all along, or some sort of stopping point? What was the point of the following things that were not addressed: The old lady, Whittmore, any of the crap like the bottle of scotch that showed up like 70 times, and did the people in the plane make it home or did they die on the FUCKING WAY COME ON!
So needless to say, there will be many people out there who get a lot of different things from the show, some will think it is a masterpiece and some will not. But I think in one way this show lives up to its name. In the end, we, as the audience, are still so very very Lost. But not so much, as it may appear, as the writers. This show was entertaining, but entertaining like Circus Ole'. Splashy, confusing, and possibly foreign, and in the end you still have no idea what happened but might involve some kid flying an imaginary kite.
So needless to say I went out today and bought my new form of entertainment. That's right. A bucket of paint. I am going to watch paint dry.
Lost Commentary by one of the actors. It makes about as much sense as any of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TylGeXzd9as
F.
D438942
Mouth Urinal - Kind of sums up my feelings right now.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=htR7AAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Dear Lost. I have two words for you. Fuck You.
I stuck with you for the last 5 years even when you took long breaks and time off to do god knows what. And THAT is what I got. Seriously? Did you fucking forget where you were going with that? Did you get that ending off of a Bazooka Joe gum wrapper? What The Fuck?!
Now there may be some people out there who are like "Oh no, it was deep" or "Don't you see the underlying meaning?"
No, I don't. Why? Cause there isn't any. They didn't plan for the ending and we got crap. I mean, was the island purgatory all along, or some sort of stopping point? What was the point of the following things that were not addressed: The old lady, Whittmore, any of the crap like the bottle of scotch that showed up like 70 times, and did the people in the plane make it home or did they die on the FUCKING WAY COME ON!
So needless to say, there will be many people out there who get a lot of different things from the show, some will think it is a masterpiece and some will not. But I think in one way this show lives up to its name. In the end, we, as the audience, are still so very very Lost. But not so much, as it may appear, as the writers. This show was entertaining, but entertaining like Circus Ole'. Splashy, confusing, and possibly foreign, and in the end you still have no idea what happened but might involve some kid flying an imaginary kite.
So needless to say I went out today and bought my new form of entertainment. That's right. A bucket of paint. I am going to watch paint dry.
Lost Commentary by one of the actors. It makes about as much sense as any of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TylGeXzd9as
F.
D438942
Mouth Urinal - Kind of sums up my feelings right now.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=htR7AAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Blog 32: Alwayse a bit too busy,
You know I realized something the other day. I'm doing something wrong. And you want to know how I came to this realization? I was riding on the elevator and the Janitor has a better phone than I do. I have never had the "up to date" phone service. You have people running around with IPhones and whatnot and I'm rocking a phone that I literally HANDLE LIKE GLASS cause I have had it replaced 3 times because it is pretty much MADE LIKE GLASS.
Let me tell you about my replacements.
Time 1: I was carrying my ipod headphones in my pocket, and I pulled my phone out to see that the screen had apparently cracked. From my Ipod Headphones. Not really the most vicious of things Ipod headphones. Phone, you suck.
Time 2: Now this was a little embarrasing I must admit. My phone speaker apparently worked itself loose so it would make a buzzing noise when people talked, which made conversations annoying. But now here is the weird part. Apparently one of my ears can hear ultra high frequencies, and you guessed it, it is the ear I usually listen on my phone with. That's right, I had to go in to the Verizon store, and ask them to replace my phone because I could hear it making a noise that NO ONE ELSE COULD HEAR. But to their credit they did replace it, or more likely took it out back and slapped it around a bit.
Time 3: This time was more my fault, but I still hate the phone. I was at a cerimony set up for work where we were putting up balloon sculptures (that's right, I makes balloon sculptures at work. I am a veritable party machine) and was standing on the stage, backing up to take a broader look at the job when I walked off the stage. To my credit when I fell I actually managed a backward tumble and landed on my feet (GO ME!) but the cost was rolling over my phone and, you guessed it, cracking the screen AGAIN.
So now I am on phone 4, the same delightful Verizon Voyager as it is apparently grandfathered in so I don't have to pay for the super retarded manditory internet verizon is instigating on all phones now that gives you enough coverage to basically visit your email once a month. Uber lame. So I am continuing to handle it like glass.
But back to my point, I struggle, yes STRUGGLE with this phone, but a janitor walks around with an IPhone. Seriously?!? Are him and all his immigrant buddies on a family plan so they each pay like a dollar? I don't get it. I think it was how I was raised, to save a few dollars by getting the cheap option, but what they don't tell you, and yes my phone is a PERFECT EXAMPLE is that if you pay more, you don't end up replacing your phone THREE TIMES. Fail on my part.
Lets see, what other topics of interest. Oh yes, I did come up with this idea. I want to be a porn extra. Think about it. I want to be in as many porns as possible as like some background guy. I want to become the Where's Waldo of porn. Maybe some day people will make drinking games of me. Now THAT is a way to be immortalized. To have a drinking game named after you. Success!
Aside from that things are the usual. Work, stress, sleep, not enough candyfloss. The usual.
CONTINUED!
6325260
Classy Condom Holder
http://www.google.com/patents?id=gd0HAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false
Let me tell you about my replacements.
Time 1: I was carrying my ipod headphones in my pocket, and I pulled my phone out to see that the screen had apparently cracked. From my Ipod Headphones. Not really the most vicious of things Ipod headphones. Phone, you suck.
Time 2: Now this was a little embarrasing I must admit. My phone speaker apparently worked itself loose so it would make a buzzing noise when people talked, which made conversations annoying. But now here is the weird part. Apparently one of my ears can hear ultra high frequencies, and you guessed it, it is the ear I usually listen on my phone with. That's right, I had to go in to the Verizon store, and ask them to replace my phone because I could hear it making a noise that NO ONE ELSE COULD HEAR. But to their credit they did replace it, or more likely took it out back and slapped it around a bit.
Time 3: This time was more my fault, but I still hate the phone. I was at a cerimony set up for work where we were putting up balloon sculptures (that's right, I makes balloon sculptures at work. I am a veritable party machine) and was standing on the stage, backing up to take a broader look at the job when I walked off the stage. To my credit when I fell I actually managed a backward tumble and landed on my feet (GO ME!) but the cost was rolling over my phone and, you guessed it, cracking the screen AGAIN.
So now I am on phone 4, the same delightful Verizon Voyager as it is apparently grandfathered in so I don't have to pay for the super retarded manditory internet verizon is instigating on all phones now that gives you enough coverage to basically visit your email once a month. Uber lame. So I am continuing to handle it like glass.
But back to my point, I struggle, yes STRUGGLE with this phone, but a janitor walks around with an IPhone. Seriously?!? Are him and all his immigrant buddies on a family plan so they each pay like a dollar? I don't get it. I think it was how I was raised, to save a few dollars by getting the cheap option, but what they don't tell you, and yes my phone is a PERFECT EXAMPLE is that if you pay more, you don't end up replacing your phone THREE TIMES. Fail on my part.
Lets see, what other topics of interest. Oh yes, I did come up with this idea. I want to be a porn extra. Think about it. I want to be in as many porns as possible as like some background guy. I want to become the Where's Waldo of porn. Maybe some day people will make drinking games of me. Now THAT is a way to be immortalized. To have a drinking game named after you. Success!
Aside from that things are the usual. Work, stress, sleep, not enough candyfloss. The usual.
CONTINUED!
6325260
Classy Condom Holder
http://www.google.com/patents?id=gd0HAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Blog 31: Iminent Demise
I find it rather amusing that while I am writing this the fire alarm on the floor below us is going off. Now I'm no Master of the Thermal arts, but I think heat rises. Perhaps they have already signed us off as doomed to burn so don't even turn on the fire alarms on our floor. Well if this is my last will an testament I want all my friends to do a cage match and whomever comes out on top and get anything Meg doesn't want. Cage Matches, the Venn Diagram of the real world.
Well this week has been.... stressful. The girl and I had rent auditions this week as well as a slew of other events. Now as a bit of Back story Meg had wanted to try out for rent and I was all about it cause I think she could rock the stage, so she has been practising up, and is sounding really good, and also really looking the part. So on Monday I had planned on doing my audition as I had plans Tues. But Meg wanted to go with me and audition Monday so I was thinking fine, but then she went for a last minute tune up with her vocal coach who out of the blue decides she needed to do a different audition piece. Very strange to me, but oh well, so the girl is freakin a bit and I decide to push us back to audition on Tuesday.
Now the one thing that annoyed me about pushing back the audition date was that I had planned to attend a meeting with the city as I want to build a fence to keep the riff raff out of my yard, and someone else was pitching something similar to the city on Tues that I wanted to sit in on. So sadly I must now stalk this person and ask them myself as I missed the meeting.
So we go to auditions last night and HOLY CRAP. My audition number was 55. That is right, I was the fifty fifth person to try out yesterday. And more kept flooding in. I can only assume well over 100 people tried out for this show. I call them "Renties" People who are in love with the musical Rent and for whom it has been their life long dream to be in the show. And some of the people auditioning were HYSTERICAL. There was a broad range of talent, some good, some very very American Idle first run cuts. Now I am not going to bash, cause I must tip my hat to anyone with the guts to get on stage and give it a go. But man my heart hurt for a couple of them.
So we await to see if we made callbacks. Dun dun dun!
Anyway, what else have I been up to. Not a whole lot. The usual work and gym. Something I found odd is that people at work are seeming scary! I am trying to just start convos with people at work that I do not know, and I don't know if it is my approach or if they are just cynical. One person I actually said hello to led with something to the effect of "I hate my job". SCARY! I don't know how my mom does it. My mom is a friggin WIZARD when it comes to meeting people. I think it is because she looks kind of like a grandmother in the making and you kind of expect her to whip out a batch of cookies. She also meets the craziest people. She has connections, luckily for me, and still very oddly, to some of the larger producers and directors in Hollywood. Usually through their parents mind you. I guess she just hits up all the older people events and rocks them out. Go mom.
The parents are doing something very interesting too with their house. I may have already mentioned this, but I do not think so. They are creating a "Train Garden". Where this is apparently their garden, yes, follow me on this one. With trains in it. Little model trains that come running out of the Garage sharing the cat door and probably scaring the PISS out of the cats, and running through the garden (any kind of weather cause they are water proof trains) and heading back into the garage. Now I originally though this to be a bit eccentric but good for them cause it would be an amusing project. But then I told Meg. And even the wheels in MY head started to turn. And so now the girl and I are thinking of turning our garden plots into, yes, wait for it. A Fairy Garden. Where we would have small fairy houses and probably plant peppers and herbs and ornamentation what we could still harvest. Hence another reason for the privacy fence so the riff raff doesn't oggle my fairies. Hmm that was not a phrase I thought I would ever use.
Anywho. I am bored at work and the fire alarms have stopped and while it may seem a little warmer I have not died. So I am off for some morning Coffee.
TA!
4605000
Greenhouse Helmet: I'm rather surprised this hasn't been used as an advert for going green...
http://www.google.com/patents?id=-n4uAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false
Well this week has been.... stressful. The girl and I had rent auditions this week as well as a slew of other events. Now as a bit of Back story Meg had wanted to try out for rent and I was all about it cause I think she could rock the stage, so she has been practising up, and is sounding really good, and also really looking the part. So on Monday I had planned on doing my audition as I had plans Tues. But Meg wanted to go with me and audition Monday so I was thinking fine, but then she went for a last minute tune up with her vocal coach who out of the blue decides she needed to do a different audition piece. Very strange to me, but oh well, so the girl is freakin a bit and I decide to push us back to audition on Tuesday.
Now the one thing that annoyed me about pushing back the audition date was that I had planned to attend a meeting with the city as I want to build a fence to keep the riff raff out of my yard, and someone else was pitching something similar to the city on Tues that I wanted to sit in on. So sadly I must now stalk this person and ask them myself as I missed the meeting.
So we go to auditions last night and HOLY CRAP. My audition number was 55. That is right, I was the fifty fifth person to try out yesterday. And more kept flooding in. I can only assume well over 100 people tried out for this show. I call them "Renties" People who are in love with the musical Rent and for whom it has been their life long dream to be in the show. And some of the people auditioning were HYSTERICAL. There was a broad range of talent, some good, some very very American Idle first run cuts. Now I am not going to bash, cause I must tip my hat to anyone with the guts to get on stage and give it a go. But man my heart hurt for a couple of them.
So we await to see if we made callbacks. Dun dun dun!
Anyway, what else have I been up to. Not a whole lot. The usual work and gym. Something I found odd is that people at work are seeming scary! I am trying to just start convos with people at work that I do not know, and I don't know if it is my approach or if they are just cynical. One person I actually said hello to led with something to the effect of "I hate my job". SCARY! I don't know how my mom does it. My mom is a friggin WIZARD when it comes to meeting people. I think it is because she looks kind of like a grandmother in the making and you kind of expect her to whip out a batch of cookies. She also meets the craziest people. She has connections, luckily for me, and still very oddly, to some of the larger producers and directors in Hollywood. Usually through their parents mind you. I guess she just hits up all the older people events and rocks them out. Go mom.
The parents are doing something very interesting too with their house. I may have already mentioned this, but I do not think so. They are creating a "Train Garden". Where this is apparently their garden, yes, follow me on this one. With trains in it. Little model trains that come running out of the Garage sharing the cat door and probably scaring the PISS out of the cats, and running through the garden (any kind of weather cause they are water proof trains) and heading back into the garage. Now I originally though this to be a bit eccentric but good for them cause it would be an amusing project. But then I told Meg. And even the wheels in MY head started to turn. And so now the girl and I are thinking of turning our garden plots into, yes, wait for it. A Fairy Garden. Where we would have small fairy houses and probably plant peppers and herbs and ornamentation what we could still harvest. Hence another reason for the privacy fence so the riff raff doesn't oggle my fairies. Hmm that was not a phrase I thought I would ever use.
Anywho. I am bored at work and the fire alarms have stopped and while it may seem a little warmer I have not died. So I am off for some morning Coffee.
TA!
4605000
Greenhouse Helmet: I'm rather surprised this hasn't been used as an advert for going green...
http://www.google.com/patents?id=-n4uAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Blog 30: Headache
I have a headache today so I am attempting to temper it by writing. Woot. Usually when I am trying to distract myself from work I look at cars on Autotrader. GREAT site, very efficient, and probably the best car site I know of. Works well to both research and search for cars. Man, I would LOVE to have a new Jeep. Used to have a 95 Wrangler which had a 3 inch suspension lift on it. It was like having a non-stop seizure cause the shocks were blown and it was just bouncy as hell. Few things in the world made me want to kill everything more than driving over a speed bump in that thing, especially cause the speed bumps in old town Alexandria are like 7 feed wide. SEVEN FEET WIDE! Who makes a speed bump like that?? Anyway. I still want a new Jeep, one of those 4 door dealies that suck gas like no tomorrow. Yea. That's what daddy likes. Take that Environment! But, I digress, I am very pro environment. I try to do my part, little recycling here, little gardening there. I grew up in a household where we put more in the ground than most people. Though I do not know if I am sold on the whole recycling thing. And people for some reason seem to associate Eating Organic food as helping the environment to a degree as on par with recycling. I mean I understand it a BIT, but not too much. I mean, having chickens not in a cage doesn't really do much for the environment other than perhaps make it smell worse. I think the national mindset is being changed by advertising and chit chat. Let us take a few examples. There has been a big push for WIND energy lately. Now let us consider this, this is a tech that has been around since, oh I don't know, WINDMILLS. Why now? Simple, SOMEONE is making money off of it. Now you may say, "Well, jolly pip, (apparently because you are British, or at least the pseudo British I would make you be) Wind energy is nicer to the environment than nasty old methods out there now". Really? Well what about hydroelectric power. In my opinion one of the BEST out there. Disrupts water ways you say? Not really, that is what engineers are FOR, is to make them safe, and think about it, a big windmill getting wind as it passes, versus a huge honkin DAM that is powered ALL THE TIME. Well, that is me supporting hydroelectric anyway, but my point is that all this green energy is propaganda and someone somewhere is just making money. Now I'm all for not spewing tons of junk into the air because we burn coal... oh wait a minute.... what is my job again? Oh that is right! I work on patents for EXHAUST SYSTEMS. I know just how much stuff goes into the atmosphere from those things and it is NOT MUCH. I mean the tech that they have in there is HUGE to get rid of everything that is harmful. Catalysts and reducing agents and filters upon filters. Heck, for a decent number of stuff out there you could almost suck on the exhaust. Don't, this is not me advocating that, but still. But I do agree combustibles will soon be a way of the past NOT because of pollution, but because they are crazily inefficient. Something like 20-30% of the potential power is actually used AT THE VERY BEST. That is terrible. But, a means to an end, and if convincing everyone that pollution is a problem with these things gets better tech out there who am I to argue. But if I was to pitch the truly good tech that I would LOVE to see out there. Nuclear power. Problem with so much of the tech out there is that SOMETHING SOMEWHERE bad happened and was played up with propaganda and no one will forget it. Nuclear power - Trinoble. Needless to say that we are WAY better than that, and THAT scenario was unique into itself. Hydrogen Power - Hydenberg, which doesn't even make much sense as a comparison. Additionally gasoline WAY more flammable than Hydrogen and WAY more dangerous. But we have been convinced of ... well... incorrect facts. Would you drive a car that ran on A) Gasoline, B) Alcohol, C) Hydrogen or D) Nuclear Power? Gasoline - very powerful, very efficient in its own right, and actually burns down to near water and air. The real problem is older cars where people don't replace their catalytic converters and have crappy engines. Alcohol - thought to be a great idea, not a lot of power though. You'd be refilling every 60 miles, now THAT would make for a crappy commute. Hydrogen - Powerful, and efficient, not a great way to carry a lot of it though, but easily as safe as gasoline. Nuclear Power - perfect. You wouldn't need to refill for more than a YEAR. Did you know Nuclear Submarines and Naval ships only refill every 2 YEARS! And that is a big friggin boat! And there is plenty of tech out there to make sure it would be safe to use. You think we have to worry about meltdowns and radiation? I mean we have hundreds of ships out there that don't, you don't think we could build a car to handle it? Anyway, it is just my take on a lot of this, and the facts are out there for whomever wants them. I just wanted to ramble a bit until my headache medicine kicked in, which I believe it has. So I shall back to work go. Boo work, but hooray no headache. Overall, mild win.
20070193586
Now THAT is a condom.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=An-EAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false
20070193586
Now THAT is a condom.
http://www.google.com/patents?id=An-EAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Blog 29: DANCE!
Well this has been an interesting week in many respects. Last weekend was the first weekend in awhile where I didn't have a vast amount of stuff going on, so it was nice to relax a bit. Kitchen is finally done for the most part, only a couple small touches needed. The whole this looks very cottagy and the only think left is new counter tops so who knows when that will happen. It has been feeling really good to keep busy with physical projects. Gives me a sense of accomplishment I think I need. Work has been going okay. The way that it is set up right now is making it very easy cause they are basically doubling up on a lot of our counts, but all in all I am figuring out more tricks of the trade to make things easier to accomplish. Hopefully will be able to go for the next promotion soon though in all honesty why any one wants a promotion is beyond be, because the amount of time you spend doing the extra work required of you after the promotion is about 1/3 what you would be paid if you just worked that as overtime. But oh well, it is something to shoot for.
Aside from that I have been trying to gym it up, though I have yet to set a workout schedule and stick by it, but I do pretty good. One of my co-workers Balloon Joe coerced me into going to a Zumba Class yesterday and that was .... interesting. Bit of background, this co-worker ... pitches for the other team, and while I have no problem with that he does tend to see the world a bit differently, so he takes me to this Zumba class which I had considered going to before. Now this class, I had no expectations of it, but as it turns out it is full of older women who ROCK IT OUT. I was... surprised. Well the instructor was.. well lets just say Queen Elizabeth had nothing on him, but HE was very into it, pulling his pants up to a Thong appearance and shaking it like there was no tomorrow, no day after tomorrow and practically no day between now and next Arbor Day. And according to Joe, because we were the only two guys in the class, it was likely that he was shaking it as much as he was because he was trying to impress us men. Awkward a bit. Well, stick it out, and by stick it out I mean bear with it and no other metaphor, and it was an enjoyable class. You see, I think deep down in side, and in contrast to whatever that Nay Sayer of a wife Meg might be, if things had gone differently in my life, I'd of been a dancer. I like to dance, I really do. I want to learn how to break dance, and blackdance, and get better at swing dance. Love it! And this Zumba class was fun cause it was sort of what I crassly call black dance, sort of what you might have seen African American Frat's do at talent shows. It was good times, and I would want to learn more. This particular class though, was a bit awkward. If I could get more people I knew there, it might not be so much. But those old lady's could shake it! I have never seen so much 40+ ass look so good. Well, not I feel a bit weirded out, but onward!
Something else of interest is the relationship my work Office mate WAS in. Now, here is some details that she was un-aware of, that everyone should be aware of. It has been coined by my friend Brett, and I desire word of it to be spread around. It's called Common Law Relationship. Now you will find yourself in a Common Law Relationship if you begin to date someone and then NEVER POINT OUT THAT YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE. If you do NOT point this out, the other person under the Statute of Common Law Relationship is allowed to consider you an official Monogamous couple and start telling their friends that you are BF/GF. On deeper reflection we decided to give this the time frame of 1 month. So there you have it folks, if you do not identify the status of your relationship within a one month timeframe you have entered upon a Common Law Relationship and are now assumed BF/GF much like squatting and other incidents of assumed ownership. Long story short though, beware the Common Law Relationship timeline otherwise the other person is in for a surprise, and not the cake and candles sort, unless you cake is full of DYNAMITE!
But aside from all of that, things are well. This week is almost over. SO CLOSE! Trying to build a fence around the house to keep the rif-raf out though I have to talk to the Zoning commission. I feel all fancy, but am sure I will feel very stabby by the time I'm done with them. Woot springtime and the yardwork it brings.
Over and OUT!
PS.
Now I know I said that the Erectile Dysfunction invention from last week's blog was the best one I had ever seen, but now I'm not so sure:
http://www.google.com/patents?id=npwnAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Be sure to look at figures 4a-4d, and look reeeal close at 4d at what the hostages are doing.
Aside from that I have been trying to gym it up, though I have yet to set a workout schedule and stick by it, but I do pretty good. One of my co-workers Balloon Joe coerced me into going to a Zumba Class yesterday and that was .... interesting. Bit of background, this co-worker ... pitches for the other team, and while I have no problem with that he does tend to see the world a bit differently, so he takes me to this Zumba class which I had considered going to before. Now this class, I had no expectations of it, but as it turns out it is full of older women who ROCK IT OUT. I was... surprised. Well the instructor was.. well lets just say Queen Elizabeth had nothing on him, but HE was very into it, pulling his pants up to a Thong appearance and shaking it like there was no tomorrow, no day after tomorrow and practically no day between now and next Arbor Day. And according to Joe, because we were the only two guys in the class, it was likely that he was shaking it as much as he was because he was trying to impress us men. Awkward a bit. Well, stick it out, and by stick it out I mean bear with it and no other metaphor, and it was an enjoyable class. You see, I think deep down in side, and in contrast to whatever that Nay Sayer of a wife Meg might be, if things had gone differently in my life, I'd of been a dancer. I like to dance, I really do. I want to learn how to break dance, and blackdance, and get better at swing dance. Love it! And this Zumba class was fun cause it was sort of what I crassly call black dance, sort of what you might have seen African American Frat's do at talent shows. It was good times, and I would want to learn more. This particular class though, was a bit awkward. If I could get more people I knew there, it might not be so much. But those old lady's could shake it! I have never seen so much 40+ ass look so good. Well, not I feel a bit weirded out, but onward!
Something else of interest is the relationship my work Office mate WAS in. Now, here is some details that she was un-aware of, that everyone should be aware of. It has been coined by my friend Brett, and I desire word of it to be spread around. It's called Common Law Relationship. Now you will find yourself in a Common Law Relationship if you begin to date someone and then NEVER POINT OUT THAT YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE. If you do NOT point this out, the other person under the Statute of Common Law Relationship is allowed to consider you an official Monogamous couple and start telling their friends that you are BF/GF. On deeper reflection we decided to give this the time frame of 1 month. So there you have it folks, if you do not identify the status of your relationship within a one month timeframe you have entered upon a Common Law Relationship and are now assumed BF/GF much like squatting and other incidents of assumed ownership. Long story short though, beware the Common Law Relationship timeline otherwise the other person is in for a surprise, and not the cake and candles sort, unless you cake is full of DYNAMITE!
But aside from all of that, things are well. This week is almost over. SO CLOSE! Trying to build a fence around the house to keep the rif-raf out though I have to talk to the Zoning commission. I feel all fancy, but am sure I will feel very stabby by the time I'm done with them. Woot springtime and the yardwork it brings.
Over and OUT!
PS.
Now I know I said that the Erectile Dysfunction invention from last week's blog was the best one I had ever seen, but now I'm not so sure:
http://www.google.com/patents?id=npwnAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Be sure to look at figures 4a-4d, and look reeeal close at 4d at what the hostages are doing.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Blog 28 : 4/12/2010 : I blame Taxes
Well I have not been writing lately and while I can make up numerous excuses such as vacation, work, family, and taxes, it is never any excuse so I will just jump right back on the proverbial horse and get to writing. Lots of good stuff going on lately, I think last I wrote was before I was about to head out to Florida on vacation. Where to start. Hmmm.
Okay, I am going to list it out so I don't forget anything.
1)Rant about stupid people on the beltway.
2)Vacation and the island of misfit animals.
3)Working on the kitchen, and how it buys off Meg.
4)Visiting Family and birthday parties.
5)Anything I'm forgetting.
Well needless to say I have been feeling a little more financially secure, at least I WAS up until a couple weeks ago when this lovely event happened. I was driving home one sunny afternoon, relaxed and enjoying myself, toying with the idea of selling my car any getting something of an SUV nature when lo- and behold I see some cardboard sitting in the road ahead of me. Well I think, I COULD swerve to miss it, but there are people right next to me, and since it is cardboard I will drive above it, and it looks like it is sitting low enough to be of no consequence. Problem 1: it was not cardboard. It was a cinder block that had fallen off a truck in front of me. Problem 2: It was a FUCKING CINDER BLOCK. Need I say more?! Well what eventually turned out was this, a cinder block had rolled off some Tard's truck somewhere ahead of me, this cinder block had rolled under a van in front of me tearing out his oil pan, rolled under my car smashing up my engine mounts and exhaust, and taking out the tires of the guy behind me. Now I can't recall if I mentioned this in an earlier blog, but to sum up it came to about $4500 in damages, of which I had to pay about $520 due to insurance. FAIL. But my insurance company gave me a rental car, which I then used on my vacation to drive to Florida. WIN. I drove that bitch into the ground. But now... on to vacation:
Vacation was SWEET. My Uncle Bill lives in Florida with my Aunt and they have a spare beach Condo they are selling but let us use. Very nice of them. And they were great cause they gave us the professional tour of the area, which included hitting up some surprise cites like the American Legion and the Elks Club. Let me tell you, do you know where all the elderly are at 1:30 in the afternoon? I Do. They are at the American Legion, Breaking It DOWN. It was like dark room, disco ball, DJ in the corner and 100 people totaling about 9000 years of wealth and experience tearing it up on the dancefloor. It was AMAZING. Rock it out elderly people. Rock..It..Out.
But being if Florida was a lot of fun. One interesting, and slightly disturbing, place we visited was the Aquarium. The Aquarium... of Handicapped Animals. There was a seaturtle with no front fins paddling around in giant tank. Just let that image sink in. There was a Dolphin, a great success story, who had no tail but for whom they made a Prosthetic Tail. But for some reason he didn't have it on and was floating around in his tank like some bizarre huge shrimp trying to keep his head above water. So Sad! But the fun didn't stop there. Oh no. Across the street from the condo was a Bird sanctuary with all the Handicapped BIRDS. Hundred of Pelicans that could fly, and other birds of the beach that had apparently taken on the motor boats of the world and lost in a flurry of feathers. They were adorable. A bit sad, but adorable. A bit featherless... but adorable.
But much time sunning was had, there was much wind and some rain, but we went to bars and got a full fledged tour from my uncle when the weather was not peak. Ate too much. Had all you could eat crab which was a win, and then in an effort to walk off the meal strode past the bird sanctuary on the way to the beach. We ran, or "ran" meaning something of a too full waddle, for about a quarter mile when we noticed that about 50 seagulls could smell the crab on us and gave chase. F-ers are diligent I must say. All in all, fantastic and relaxing. A LOT of driving, but hey, it wasn't my car so it was okay.
Lets see, #3 on the list. Working on the kitchen. Well I had some family come up this past weekend so I have been working on the kitchen a lot re-doing the cabinets to look "cottagy" I feel very proud of this cause it is affordable and looks good, and Meg is showering me with Praise (woot!) so it is motivation in itself. But it will hopefully be done soon. Oh, so much to do in a house. Blarg.
Last weekend Family visited. Saw the bro and his new girl with whom he is most amused, and who amuses me as well. Saw the parents and they are doin well and are going to do some yardwork up in NJ as they do. Hung out with everyone on the porch and that made me really happy cause it was just a nice time. Drank too much wine and went to a party afterwords. Went to sleep with an Oxygen monitor on my finger cause I'm a nerd and was given the opportunity to use it so I decided to see what my sleep phases looked like. All healthy woot!.
Aside from that, just the usual working, writing, and exercising. Trying to get back into the swing of things as I have been a slacker from the vacation. Not terrible, but there has been a bit too much fried chicken in my diet as of late and I'm trying to get back to the good ol... *sighs despondently* ... health food regime. *sigh*
But it makes me feel better.
Oh, other thing. Kinda tried to cut my own hair the other night. I felt very proud about the results. That was until Meg came down, looked at me, and proceeded to nearly laugh until she threw up. Kinda didn't do such a good job on the back of my head. A bit reminiscent of a cat and a weed eater. Big chunks missing, small chunks missing. Very sad. So I now have no hair. Hooray Summer Doo!
OUT!
3853122
"Device" - Just... just give them a squeeze baby!
http://www.google.com/patents?id=p90yAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Okay, I am going to list it out so I don't forget anything.
1)Rant about stupid people on the beltway.
2)Vacation and the island of misfit animals.
3)Working on the kitchen, and how it buys off Meg.
4)Visiting Family and birthday parties.
5)Anything I'm forgetting.
Well needless to say I have been feeling a little more financially secure, at least I WAS up until a couple weeks ago when this lovely event happened. I was driving home one sunny afternoon, relaxed and enjoying myself, toying with the idea of selling my car any getting something of an SUV nature when lo- and behold I see some cardboard sitting in the road ahead of me. Well I think, I COULD swerve to miss it, but there are people right next to me, and since it is cardboard I will drive above it, and it looks like it is sitting low enough to be of no consequence. Problem 1: it was not cardboard. It was a cinder block that had fallen off a truck in front of me. Problem 2: It was a FUCKING CINDER BLOCK. Need I say more?! Well what eventually turned out was this, a cinder block had rolled off some Tard's truck somewhere ahead of me, this cinder block had rolled under a van in front of me tearing out his oil pan, rolled under my car smashing up my engine mounts and exhaust, and taking out the tires of the guy behind me. Now I can't recall if I mentioned this in an earlier blog, but to sum up it came to about $4500 in damages, of which I had to pay about $520 due to insurance. FAIL. But my insurance company gave me a rental car, which I then used on my vacation to drive to Florida. WIN. I drove that bitch into the ground. But now... on to vacation:
Vacation was SWEET. My Uncle Bill lives in Florida with my Aunt and they have a spare beach Condo they are selling but let us use. Very nice of them. And they were great cause they gave us the professional tour of the area, which included hitting up some surprise cites like the American Legion and the Elks Club. Let me tell you, do you know where all the elderly are at 1:30 in the afternoon? I Do. They are at the American Legion, Breaking It DOWN. It was like dark room, disco ball, DJ in the corner and 100 people totaling about 9000 years of wealth and experience tearing it up on the dancefloor. It was AMAZING. Rock it out elderly people. Rock..It..Out.
But being if Florida was a lot of fun. One interesting, and slightly disturbing, place we visited was the Aquarium. The Aquarium... of Handicapped Animals. There was a seaturtle with no front fins paddling around in giant tank. Just let that image sink in. There was a Dolphin, a great success story, who had no tail but for whom they made a Prosthetic Tail. But for some reason he didn't have it on and was floating around in his tank like some bizarre huge shrimp trying to keep his head above water. So Sad! But the fun didn't stop there. Oh no. Across the street from the condo was a Bird sanctuary with all the Handicapped BIRDS. Hundred of Pelicans that could fly, and other birds of the beach that had apparently taken on the motor boats of the world and lost in a flurry of feathers. They were adorable. A bit sad, but adorable. A bit featherless... but adorable.
But much time sunning was had, there was much wind and some rain, but we went to bars and got a full fledged tour from my uncle when the weather was not peak. Ate too much. Had all you could eat crab which was a win, and then in an effort to walk off the meal strode past the bird sanctuary on the way to the beach. We ran, or "ran" meaning something of a too full waddle, for about a quarter mile when we noticed that about 50 seagulls could smell the crab on us and gave chase. F-ers are diligent I must say. All in all, fantastic and relaxing. A LOT of driving, but hey, it wasn't my car so it was okay.
Lets see, #3 on the list. Working on the kitchen. Well I had some family come up this past weekend so I have been working on the kitchen a lot re-doing the cabinets to look "cottagy" I feel very proud of this cause it is affordable and looks good, and Meg is showering me with Praise (woot!) so it is motivation in itself. But it will hopefully be done soon. Oh, so much to do in a house. Blarg.
Last weekend Family visited. Saw the bro and his new girl with whom he is most amused, and who amuses me as well. Saw the parents and they are doin well and are going to do some yardwork up in NJ as they do. Hung out with everyone on the porch and that made me really happy cause it was just a nice time. Drank too much wine and went to a party afterwords. Went to sleep with an Oxygen monitor on my finger cause I'm a nerd and was given the opportunity to use it so I decided to see what my sleep phases looked like. All healthy woot!.
Aside from that, just the usual working, writing, and exercising. Trying to get back into the swing of things as I have been a slacker from the vacation. Not terrible, but there has been a bit too much fried chicken in my diet as of late and I'm trying to get back to the good ol... *sighs despondently* ... health food regime. *sigh*
But it makes me feel better.
Oh, other thing. Kinda tried to cut my own hair the other night. I felt very proud about the results. That was until Meg came down, looked at me, and proceeded to nearly laugh until she threw up. Kinda didn't do such a good job on the back of my head. A bit reminiscent of a cat and a weed eater. Big chunks missing, small chunks missing. Very sad. So I now have no hair. Hooray Summer Doo!
OUT!
3853122
"Device" - Just... just give them a squeeze baby!
http://www.google.com/patents?id=p90yAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4#v=onepage&q&f=false
Friday, March 19, 2010
Blog 27 : 3/19/2010 : I Hate the Beltway
Well I took a few days to write this blog since my last one, and as you will see it was for a good reason. Yesterday was a beautiful day. I was at work and having trouble concentrating because it was just too nice. And I was a bit ahead on my week's work as well, so I decided to take off a few minutes early and enjoy the day.
So there I am on the beltway driving way too fast to keep up with traffic during that stretch of the beltway at that time when lo and behold I see some cardboard in the road ahead of me. Now as this is dead center of my lane I decide to drive over top of it and avoid swerving into anyone else's lane. It looks short enough and besides it IS cardboard.
WRONG. It was a cinder block. Some F-er let it roll off the back of his car going on the beltway because he couldn't be bothered to secure the crap in his truck.
Well I jump at the sound of smashing under my car and roll to the curb only to see two other cars pull over with me. I originally though they were just concerned pedestrians ( a rare thing in DC) but no. That cinder block took out not 1 not 2 but 3 cars. FAIL. And just for the record no concerned pedestrians came to our rescue (FAIL DC. FAIL.) So we review the situation as follows:
Car 1, Van. Hit the block first I believe and the block tore out his oil pan, dumping all of his engine's oil and rendering his car undrivable.
Car 2: Mine. Original prognosis, it tore out a metal strip from my plastic rock guard under my car. VERY minimal damage. Or so I THOUGHT.
Car 3: The debris coming out from under my car blew out this guy's brand new tire.
So we call the cops they show up but seeing as the dude with the cinder block got away no report could be filed so it all comes down to us. So now I call the insurance company and they agree to fix it, but who is stuck paying the deductible because some most likely un-insured cinder block toting motorist ran off? Me.
So I drive home thinking my car has nothing more than a little banging up, but as I drive it sounds VERY bad. Call the Geico, get it towed, repair quote came in today.
3 Grand.
Cinder block rolled under the car and punched one of the engine mounts (for those who don't know your engine is mounted to your frame by about 6-8 mounting supports) so the engine mount is nearly torn away and the undercarriage is horribly bent. On top of that it mangled my exhaust so I need a new exhaust. And a few dings here and there.
Extreme Fail. $590 out of pocket because I have to pay the "aging cost" of the exhaust system.
So I could be mad, but here is the way I see it. I could wish it went differently, but if you think about it, had I tried to avoid it and missed I could have ripped out the side of my car and gotten in a serious high speed accident. As it went the three cars ended up steadily crushing the block into powder and no one got hurt, and everything can be Fixed. And had the wrong person hit that block first or at the wrong angle going 80 (yes we were all going about 80) people probably would have gotten very hurt so on the whole, I like to think I sacrificed my car for the greater good.
Fail, but an acceptable fail.
Now this didn't cross my desk as a patent, but it is totally worth mentioning.
The "Wine Rack"
http://www.amazon.com/The-WineRack-200-008-Wine-Medium/dp/B001FYZZI2/ref=sr_1_19?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1268312129&sr=8-19
So there I am on the beltway driving way too fast to keep up with traffic during that stretch of the beltway at that time when lo and behold I see some cardboard in the road ahead of me. Now as this is dead center of my lane I decide to drive over top of it and avoid swerving into anyone else's lane. It looks short enough and besides it IS cardboard.
WRONG. It was a cinder block. Some F-er let it roll off the back of his car going on the beltway because he couldn't be bothered to secure the crap in his truck.
Well I jump at the sound of smashing under my car and roll to the curb only to see two other cars pull over with me. I originally though they were just concerned pedestrians ( a rare thing in DC) but no. That cinder block took out not 1 not 2 but 3 cars. FAIL. And just for the record no concerned pedestrians came to our rescue (FAIL DC. FAIL.) So we review the situation as follows:
Car 1, Van. Hit the block first I believe and the block tore out his oil pan, dumping all of his engine's oil and rendering his car undrivable.
Car 2: Mine. Original prognosis, it tore out a metal strip from my plastic rock guard under my car. VERY minimal damage. Or so I THOUGHT.
Car 3: The debris coming out from under my car blew out this guy's brand new tire.
So we call the cops they show up but seeing as the dude with the cinder block got away no report could be filed so it all comes down to us. So now I call the insurance company and they agree to fix it, but who is stuck paying the deductible because some most likely un-insured cinder block toting motorist ran off? Me.
So I drive home thinking my car has nothing more than a little banging up, but as I drive it sounds VERY bad. Call the Geico, get it towed, repair quote came in today.
3 Grand.
Cinder block rolled under the car and punched one of the engine mounts (for those who don't know your engine is mounted to your frame by about 6-8 mounting supports) so the engine mount is nearly torn away and the undercarriage is horribly bent. On top of that it mangled my exhaust so I need a new exhaust. And a few dings here and there.
Extreme Fail. $590 out of pocket because I have to pay the "aging cost" of the exhaust system.
So I could be mad, but here is the way I see it. I could wish it went differently, but if you think about it, had I tried to avoid it and missed I could have ripped out the side of my car and gotten in a serious high speed accident. As it went the three cars ended up steadily crushing the block into powder and no one got hurt, and everything can be Fixed. And had the wrong person hit that block first or at the wrong angle going 80 (yes we were all going about 80) people probably would have gotten very hurt so on the whole, I like to think I sacrificed my car for the greater good.
Fail, but an acceptable fail.
Now this didn't cross my desk as a patent, but it is totally worth mentioning.
The "Wine Rack"
http://www.amazon.com/The-WineRack-200-008-Wine-Medium/dp/B001FYZZI2/ref=sr_1_19?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1268312129&sr=8-19
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Blog 26: 3/16/10 : Blogedy blogedy
Not a huge amount to report. Hmm lets see. Well as I had said before I tried out for a musical and did not make callbacks, but then one of my friends on the inside convinced the people in charge to bring me back in for second auditions (apparently they were not satisfied with the callbacks and had a second set of auditions for the part I was interested in) so I got to go back and try out again and felt very pleased with my performance. Sadly I still did not make the part. But I was okay with that as if someone auditioned better than me when I felt like I did my best, I would be okay with that. HOWEVER. It now appears that while I was not cast, neither was ANYONE ELSE, and they are now having 3rd auditions for the part. Now not to tweak my own ego, but I thought I did pretty well that last time, so I am a bit confused as to what they are looking for. But I shall be interested to see how it all plays out, and no I shall not attend 3rd auditions, I'm already tuckered out from the first two, but I will be interested to see who they end up casting.
Other than that, just been hitting the gym and writing. Joe and I are up to page 8 on the new script so that is pretty satisfying. We were having some trouble with an inappropriate joke and the ultimate punchline it builds to. We may have it pinned but we shall read through it to make sure it drives the laugh home.
I am very much looking forward to week after next when the girl and I will be heading to Florida for a little R and R. I am very much looking forward to that. I am also looking forward to working on the house with the upcoming warm weather, but we keep having activities popping up that take us away from the house. ie went to Richmond to visit the bro in law at his new place (which is pretty sweet I must say, and they have the best dog too). But sooner or later I'll get a weekend to work on the house. Installed a ceiling chandelier yesterday (pain in my ass). Didn't electrocute myself though Meg tried to kill me by flipping on the electric lights while I was elbow deep in wiring. Fail Meg, Fail. But that kind of sums it up for now. Have to get back to work, huzznot.
Out.
7454801
Lazy Man's Toilet
http://www.google.com/patents?id=cZ6wAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q=&f=false
Other than that, just been hitting the gym and writing. Joe and I are up to page 8 on the new script so that is pretty satisfying. We were having some trouble with an inappropriate joke and the ultimate punchline it builds to. We may have it pinned but we shall read through it to make sure it drives the laugh home.
I am very much looking forward to week after next when the girl and I will be heading to Florida for a little R and R. I am very much looking forward to that. I am also looking forward to working on the house with the upcoming warm weather, but we keep having activities popping up that take us away from the house. ie went to Richmond to visit the bro in law at his new place (which is pretty sweet I must say, and they have the best dog too). But sooner or later I'll get a weekend to work on the house. Installed a ceiling chandelier yesterday (pain in my ass). Didn't electrocute myself though Meg tried to kill me by flipping on the electric lights while I was elbow deep in wiring. Fail Meg, Fail. But that kind of sums it up for now. Have to get back to work, huzznot.
Out.
7454801
Lazy Man's Toilet
http://www.google.com/patents?id=cZ6wAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q=&f=false
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Blog 26: 3/9/10 : Fail
Well yesterday was a big fail for everyone it would seem. I, sadly, did not make callback on my audition, but I did get some good feedback as to why which I shall take to heart for my next audition. Note to self, do not drop trow mid-audition. This does not make things go so well. But aside from that sporting an audition vocal that exemplifies range over working within the style of the Musical you are auditioning for is key. I think I forgot to show what I could do, and not how I would be good for this specific play. This is an important lesson, and I intend to pull a variety of musical pieces and practice them up for next time.
But as I said, yesterday was a fail for EVERYONE. I shall rank them as follows:
Third place goes to me: Failing to get called back for an audition. While this was unwanted and saddening, it has some positive sides such as I will not be making the massive commute to practice and I will still get to work on some pretty banging special effects for the play itself.
Second place goes to my Work Office mate who finally took her LSAT's. Now keep in mind she A) had to have her test postponed because of the snow, which threw off her mojo, and in addition had to skip her trip to New Orleans and a Marathon she was to run there to take the damned thing on the reschedule date because they were very abrupt about when everyone could take it, only to get a score she was very dissatisfied with so now she must take it again at a center 200 miles away because they are all full up for the summer. So that was her day on the down low.
And first place goes to my friend Brett who had 1000 dollars stolen out of his ATM account by either A) a rouge agent at our accounting office or B) someone from Turbo Tax who created a fake ATM card and hacked his account taking out the max withdraw two days running.
So all in all it was a pretty big fail day for everyone, but we went out to lunch with a sympathetic work friend and got Peruvian chicken which was the first win of the day.
Additionally for my day I used the time would have been at callbacks working on my script with Joe, and we got 4 pages of our new script written on paper, and almost the whole movie outlined. So it is fun to see that thing coming together.
Alright, back to the grind.
4407024 : Ultimate Toilet Seat
I really can't tell what this is teaching kids to do...
http://www.google.com/patents?id=uIAuAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q=&f=false
But as I said, yesterday was a fail for EVERYONE. I shall rank them as follows:
Third place goes to me: Failing to get called back for an audition. While this was unwanted and saddening, it has some positive sides such as I will not be making the massive commute to practice and I will still get to work on some pretty banging special effects for the play itself.
Second place goes to my Work Office mate who finally took her LSAT's. Now keep in mind she A) had to have her test postponed because of the snow, which threw off her mojo, and in addition had to skip her trip to New Orleans and a Marathon she was to run there to take the damned thing on the reschedule date because they were very abrupt about when everyone could take it, only to get a score she was very dissatisfied with so now she must take it again at a center 200 miles away because they are all full up for the summer. So that was her day on the down low.
And first place goes to my friend Brett who had 1000 dollars stolen out of his ATM account by either A) a rouge agent at our accounting office or B) someone from Turbo Tax who created a fake ATM card and hacked his account taking out the max withdraw two days running.
So all in all it was a pretty big fail day for everyone, but we went out to lunch with a sympathetic work friend and got Peruvian chicken which was the first win of the day.
Additionally for my day I used the time would have been at callbacks working on my script with Joe, and we got 4 pages of our new script written on paper, and almost the whole movie outlined. So it is fun to see that thing coming together.
Alright, back to the grind.
4407024 : Ultimate Toilet Seat
I really can't tell what this is teaching kids to do...
http://www.google.com/patents?id=uIAuAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q=&f=false
Monday, March 8, 2010
Blog 26: 3/8/10 : Auditions
Well I tried out for a play this weekend. They are supposed to be doing callbacks today but I haven't heard anything so I'm thinking the worst. That's right. Sinkhole. Whole theater must have slipped into the ground. Crazy sink holes. Well I don't think the audition went as well as I would have liked by a long shot. I just get so nervous, didn't used to, but then again, I'm out of practice. But it does make me feel motivated to try again though. I would like to get back into extra curricular activities to keep myself amused. But still the day is not out, perhaps I will still get a call but the pessimistic conservative side of me is not keeping its hopes up.
Other than that, I've been keeping reasonably busy. Doin script writings on Monday with friend Joe so that has been helping the creative muscles. Started working on the kitchen again yesterday. Spent most of Sunday on a ladder smoothing and sanding the ceiling and will start painting this week and working on some shelving. The wife is dead set on getting new counter tops but I remain hesitant, but we shall see how it all comes together.
Lets see what else. Work is going slow, but reasonably steady. Still not feeling horribly motivated at work, but I'm glad its there to pay the bills while I conduct my own research. Mostly these past two weeks have gone by in a pseudo blur of work and sleep. Kind of depressing really. Went to the doctor and got a sort of "answer all my questions" checkup. Nothing fancy but I like using sick leave cause it pays me to not work. :-D Hmm, that smiley face looks a lot like a horribly misshapen penis. Well on that note back to work, but hopefully I will have more to say tomorrow.
3316993
Best scooter EVER! I want this!
http://www.google.com/patents?id=zX9rAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q=&f=false
Blog Update: Audition Fail. So sad, but we live and we learn, so better preparations for next time.
Other than that, I've been keeping reasonably busy. Doin script writings on Monday with friend Joe so that has been helping the creative muscles. Started working on the kitchen again yesterday. Spent most of Sunday on a ladder smoothing and sanding the ceiling and will start painting this week and working on some shelving. The wife is dead set on getting new counter tops but I remain hesitant, but we shall see how it all comes together.
Lets see what else. Work is going slow, but reasonably steady. Still not feeling horribly motivated at work, but I'm glad its there to pay the bills while I conduct my own research. Mostly these past two weeks have gone by in a pseudo blur of work and sleep. Kind of depressing really. Went to the doctor and got a sort of "answer all my questions" checkup. Nothing fancy but I like using sick leave cause it pays me to not work. :-D Hmm, that smiley face looks a lot like a horribly misshapen penis. Well on that note back to work, but hopefully I will have more to say tomorrow.
3316993
Best scooter EVER! I want this!
http://www.google.com/patents?id=zX9rAAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&source=gbs_overview_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q=&f=false
Blog Update: Audition Fail. So sad, but we live and we learn, so better preparations for next time.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Blog 25 : 3/1/2010 - Retrospectionalysis
You know when I was younger I would determine whether or not it was going to be a good day by weather or not I could throw a used paper towel into the trash from a distance. The more elaborate the throw, the better the day it was going to be. Behind the back without looking was going to be a GREAT day. I wish life was that simple now. But why can't it be? Not sure, not sure what changed.
I had a nice long talk with the wife yesterday about getting back on track to getting a job in a field I want. I am very glad to have her cause she kicks my butt and reminds me what I need to be doing, and she is very right, I have let myself slip. It is hard because I am the kind of person who needs a plan, to see the steps to get to a goal, but I feel incapable of making a plan for this. I am not entirely sure what I want, and not knowing that makes it feel impossible to plan. It has been recommended that I see a career counselor. I am not sure if one exists that will tell me what I need to know but I hope they do. Sort of like a career therapist ;)
The funniest part of last week, and I just to this topic otherwise I will forget to mention it, I was wandering around my floor and came across a storage closet that was a little bit open. Thinking I wanted to see if they had a file binder I look inside, and there, right in the back on the bottom shelf, is the official Patent Office Suggestion Box. So there, tenth floor storage closet is where all suggestions are to be submitted. I promptly submitted a suggestion that they should relocate the box to a more obvious location.
Saw the movie "Book of Eli" yesterday. It's good to know that in post apocalyptic America that the Sun Glasses Hut will still be doing a thriving trade. This movie started off very well, bit of mystery, bit of Mad Max style, and ended up being Sixth Sense on Stupid. Basically you have a post apocalyptic world where Denzel is walking along with some magic book that will put everything right. Now I will begin spoiling this movie for you. The Book is the Bible. And this movie then becomes Preachy as HELL. And like I said, it is post apocalyptic where everyone is scrounging for food and water and the smallest little things.... but everyone who is a main character is apparently outfitted by Abercrombie, wears Oakleys, and there is no shortage of hair product. So much of this movie had to have been a "Good Idea at the Time" because it doesn't sink up. There is almost no motivation for half the people and things that occur, and this culminates, and here I find myself truly annoyed, in it being revealed right at the end that Denzel is BLIND. That's right, he goes through the whole F-ing movie basically juggling knives and reading the F-ing Chart at the eye doctors and then suddenly it turns out he was blind the whole time. Big F-ing NO. You can't Sixth Sense that crap. And yea, they try to make it look like that was how it was the whole movie by him commenting on smell and sound all the time, but the thing is almost everything he does in the movie STILL REQUIRED HIM TO SEE. Dumb. So needless to say the movie started out solid, ended up getting preachy, then just idiotic with fake blindness and a barrage of other fake diseases, and ends up having an ending scene that took 45 minutes. That's right, the big chase scene most movies end with, well this one is 45 minutes of WALKING. I must say I learned one thing while watching this movie. ALWAYS sit on the end of a row so you can get the crap out of there when shit hits the fan, and when I say shit I'm not being metaphorical.
Sorry, had to get that one off my chest, I hate it when I spend money on crap. It has gotten closer and closer to the point where I have seriously considered selling my TV. I watch so much television, but none of it is good. I weep.
Other than that, not too much else is new. Had Meg's birthday party this weekend which was good times. Many Friends came, good food, too much drink. Bro came up with his new GF so that was fun to meet her and see how they were getting on. Good times all round, made me smile.
I had a nice long talk with the wife yesterday about getting back on track to getting a job in a field I want. I am very glad to have her cause she kicks my butt and reminds me what I need to be doing, and she is very right, I have let myself slip. It is hard because I am the kind of person who needs a plan, to see the steps to get to a goal, but I feel incapable of making a plan for this. I am not entirely sure what I want, and not knowing that makes it feel impossible to plan. It has been recommended that I see a career counselor. I am not sure if one exists that will tell me what I need to know but I hope they do. Sort of like a career therapist ;)
The funniest part of last week, and I just to this topic otherwise I will forget to mention it, I was wandering around my floor and came across a storage closet that was a little bit open. Thinking I wanted to see if they had a file binder I look inside, and there, right in the back on the bottom shelf, is the official Patent Office Suggestion Box. So there, tenth floor storage closet is where all suggestions are to be submitted. I promptly submitted a suggestion that they should relocate the box to a more obvious location.
Saw the movie "Book of Eli" yesterday. It's good to know that in post apocalyptic America that the Sun Glasses Hut will still be doing a thriving trade. This movie started off very well, bit of mystery, bit of Mad Max style, and ended up being Sixth Sense on Stupid. Basically you have a post apocalyptic world where Denzel is walking along with some magic book that will put everything right. Now I will begin spoiling this movie for you. The Book is the Bible. And this movie then becomes Preachy as HELL. And like I said, it is post apocalyptic where everyone is scrounging for food and water and the smallest little things.... but everyone who is a main character is apparently outfitted by Abercrombie, wears Oakleys, and there is no shortage of hair product. So much of this movie had to have been a "Good Idea at the Time" because it doesn't sink up. There is almost no motivation for half the people and things that occur, and this culminates, and here I find myself truly annoyed, in it being revealed right at the end that Denzel is BLIND. That's right, he goes through the whole F-ing movie basically juggling knives and reading the F-ing Chart at the eye doctors and then suddenly it turns out he was blind the whole time. Big F-ing NO. You can't Sixth Sense that crap. And yea, they try to make it look like that was how it was the whole movie by him commenting on smell and sound all the time, but the thing is almost everything he does in the movie STILL REQUIRED HIM TO SEE. Dumb. So needless to say the movie started out solid, ended up getting preachy, then just idiotic with fake blindness and a barrage of other fake diseases, and ends up having an ending scene that took 45 minutes. That's right, the big chase scene most movies end with, well this one is 45 minutes of WALKING. I must say I learned one thing while watching this movie. ALWAYS sit on the end of a row so you can get the crap out of there when shit hits the fan, and when I say shit I'm not being metaphorical.
Sorry, had to get that one off my chest, I hate it when I spend money on crap. It has gotten closer and closer to the point where I have seriously considered selling my TV. I watch so much television, but none of it is good. I weep.
Other than that, not too much else is new. Had Meg's birthday party this weekend which was good times. Many Friends came, good food, too much drink. Bro came up with his new GF so that was fun to meet her and see how they were getting on. Good times all round, made me smile.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Blog 25 : 2/25/2010 - Boo-Erns
I'm not gonna lie, time is whizzing by and I suck at writing consistently. MUST RECTIFY. Other than that not a whole lot interesting. Well, that is a lie, there is a lot interesting, but I am feeling lousy at work so can call little to mind.
Work is BORING. And yes, you may say that for everyone, but there are tasks in this world that are not boring to do. And by that understanding there must be work out there that isn't boring.
I wonder if I can get Meds to no be bored. I am finding myself SO bored it has stopped making sense. I sit watching a television show AND playing a video game AT THE SAME TIME, and I am still VERY BORED. It has stopped making sense. I used to be able to play a game and be entertained for hours, but now I play them to simply, grudgingly, pass the time. Granted there are things that entertain me. Some friends and I play unusual board games on occasion, and that entertains me. Interesting that Video Games don't so much though. Perhaps it is the social aspect? This will be an interesting concept to consider and experiment with. Perhaps I need social interaction to not be bored. The girl tells me she thinks I am an introvert, and I had thought to believe her due to her logic, but upon reflection with this information I am not so sure. I am bored by myself, and not bored around people. Hmmm. I intend to audition for a musical in the coming month so I feel that that might give me additional insight into what keeps me entertained. I do not recall being too bored while being in shows in the past. A bit listless while you must wait in the wings, but not bored in the "don't really have anything to do to entertain me" sort of way. Oh well, I find myself rambling a bit.
Tires. This is the current bain of my existence. Tires cost a TON of money. To get the pair I would ideally WANT would cost over 600$. TOO MUCH. And that is for 2, count them TWO tires. I only need 2 to pass vehicle inspection at this time. And granted there are alternative options. I have shopped around and the cheapest locally I can get them is about $280 installed from Costco. Not horrible, but still not so great. I could order them online, but after shipping and paying someone to install them for me it gets close to that $280 mark again. Especially since I am getting all weather tires, what with crazy uber snow this past year. Blah.
The other option open to me is getting USED tires. Now you may scoff, and I must admit my own skepticism initially, but I called them up and they said that they had the tires I wanted and could have me in and out the door in 20 minutes for 100$ flat. And they were the good tires too. I must admit though the person I spoke to spoke next to no English so some of this may have gotten lost in translation. I also called a different used tire place that quoted about 120$ in and out, so this price range holds relatively steady. Now granted I will swing by and check the tires myself to see how they stack up, but think about it. This was the logic presented to me and I am expanding on it. This is a rich area, so people would not necessarily think twice about getting 4 new tires if they get, say, 1 flat. Or perhaps they never rotate their tires on their front wheel drive car and consequently burn out 2 tires while the other 2 remain essentially new (as is with my car). So I will give it the benefit of the doubt and check it out tomorrow and see how it all stacks up.
Aside from that, been working out as usual, though I must say I feel as though I have been metaphorically lapped by my wife. She is doing, needless to say, a GREAT job with her regiment with serious results. So now I am re-evaluating what I had desired with my gym time, and think I need to create a better structure to get to the gym more regularly and hit certain machines in a repetitive nature. Also a little online research would not lead me astray.
Well, I guess back to work. This bi-week has not been the worst, but it has felt the longest. Blah. Off I go!
D526463
Crazy Muscles:
http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=Erl6AAAAEBAJ&dq=D526463
Work is BORING. And yes, you may say that for everyone, but there are tasks in this world that are not boring to do. And by that understanding there must be work out there that isn't boring.
I wonder if I can get Meds to no be bored. I am finding myself SO bored it has stopped making sense. I sit watching a television show AND playing a video game AT THE SAME TIME, and I am still VERY BORED. It has stopped making sense. I used to be able to play a game and be entertained for hours, but now I play them to simply, grudgingly, pass the time. Granted there are things that entertain me. Some friends and I play unusual board games on occasion, and that entertains me. Interesting that Video Games don't so much though. Perhaps it is the social aspect? This will be an interesting concept to consider and experiment with. Perhaps I need social interaction to not be bored. The girl tells me she thinks I am an introvert, and I had thought to believe her due to her logic, but upon reflection with this information I am not so sure. I am bored by myself, and not bored around people. Hmmm. I intend to audition for a musical in the coming month so I feel that that might give me additional insight into what keeps me entertained. I do not recall being too bored while being in shows in the past. A bit listless while you must wait in the wings, but not bored in the "don't really have anything to do to entertain me" sort of way. Oh well, I find myself rambling a bit.
Tires. This is the current bain of my existence. Tires cost a TON of money. To get the pair I would ideally WANT would cost over 600$. TOO MUCH. And that is for 2, count them TWO tires. I only need 2 to pass vehicle inspection at this time. And granted there are alternative options. I have shopped around and the cheapest locally I can get them is about $280 installed from Costco. Not horrible, but still not so great. I could order them online, but after shipping and paying someone to install them for me it gets close to that $280 mark again. Especially since I am getting all weather tires, what with crazy uber snow this past year. Blah.
The other option open to me is getting USED tires. Now you may scoff, and I must admit my own skepticism initially, but I called them up and they said that they had the tires I wanted and could have me in and out the door in 20 minutes for 100$ flat. And they were the good tires too. I must admit though the person I spoke to spoke next to no English so some of this may have gotten lost in translation. I also called a different used tire place that quoted about 120$ in and out, so this price range holds relatively steady. Now granted I will swing by and check the tires myself to see how they stack up, but think about it. This was the logic presented to me and I am expanding on it. This is a rich area, so people would not necessarily think twice about getting 4 new tires if they get, say, 1 flat. Or perhaps they never rotate their tires on their front wheel drive car and consequently burn out 2 tires while the other 2 remain essentially new (as is with my car). So I will give it the benefit of the doubt and check it out tomorrow and see how it all stacks up.
Aside from that, been working out as usual, though I must say I feel as though I have been metaphorically lapped by my wife. She is doing, needless to say, a GREAT job with her regiment with serious results. So now I am re-evaluating what I had desired with my gym time, and think I need to create a better structure to get to the gym more regularly and hit certain machines in a repetitive nature. Also a little online research would not lead me astray.
Well, I guess back to work. This bi-week has not been the worst, but it has felt the longest. Blah. Off I go!
D526463
Crazy Muscles:
http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=Erl6AAAAEBAJ&dq=D526463
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