Short but Sweet

So there I was walking into the coffee shop. It was crowded with about 10 men trying to not make eye contact and keep out of each others way in the tiny concession store when "Let's Go All The Way Tonight" comes onto the radio. Now I hate this song cause in addition to it sucking dick, it talks all about sucking dick, and appears to be geared towards high schoolers with lines like "We may be teens but put it in my poo-nan-er" (creative recreation). So it was feeling a little more awkward. But I manage to get my coffee and turn towards the condiments section with creamers and sugar. Now, for a bit of back story, I used to be a sugar toothed glutton and would put 2, yes TWO whole packets of Splenda in my coffee, but have since cut back to one. Cause, you know, I'm watching my weight with imaginary sugar. Any who, so I turn to get my sugar and creamer and stand there, slightly in awe, slightly in horror at the sight before my eyes. With the music pumping the lyrics "Lets go all the way tonight" this guy is putting Splenda packet after Spelnda packet into his coffee, opening each one and dumping it in time with the music. I sat there and counted in the vicinity of 15 packets of sweetener he placed in his coffee, at which point he shuffled a bit out of the way so I could jump in and grab a creamer. Then once I capped my coffee and turned around I spotted him a little way down the work area putting still MORE sweetener packets in his coffee, all the while the music is blaring in the uncomfortable background. I started to wonder if he has OCD or something. And all I could think was, "He is going all the way. Stay strong man, stay strong. Don't ever let anyone tell you that's too much Splenda for your coffee, cause they're just wrong." F-ing ridiculous. I have never actually thought the phrase "Would you like some coffee with your sugar" and meant it before, but that was just ridiculous. And so now I sit here enjoying my one Splenda packet and wondering if somewhere out there, that guy is having his well earned heart attack slash Diabetic Coma. Stay strong sir, stay strong.